81 

0  ! 

6 
7 
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4 
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4 


.-.    THE  •:• 


,/ySTORy..; 


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PLAY  • 


...NEW     YORK :.. 


GIBSON  &KING  PUBLISHERS 


221   PEARL  STREET. 


THE    WHITE    ELEPHANT 

BY  CHARLES  READE 


THE  WHITE    ELEPHANT 


A  STORY 


CHARLES     R  BAD  E 

AUTHOR  OF  "  A  TERRIBLE  TEMPTATION,"  "  FOUL  PLAY,"  "  GRIFFITH  GAUNT,' 
"  HARD  CASH,"  ETC.,  ETC. 


NEW  YORK 

GIBSON     &     KING 
221  Pearl  Street 


Copyright,  1884, 
BY  GIBSON  &  KING. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 


CHAPTER  I. 

IN  the  month  of  April,  1828,  Mr.  Yates,  theatrical  man- 
ager, found  his  nightly  receipts  fall  below  his  nightly 
expenses.  In  this  situation,  a  manager  falls  upon  one  of  two 
things, — a  spectacle  or  a  star.  Mr.  Yates  preferred  the  latter, 
and  went  over  to  Paris  and  engaged  Mademoiselle  Djek. 

Mademoiselle  Djek  was  a  White  Elephant  of  great  size 
and  unparalleled  sagacity.  She  had  been  for  some  time  per- 
forming in  a  play  at  Franconi's,  and  created  a  great  sensation 
in  Paris. 

Of  her  previous  history  little  is  known.  But  she  was  first 
landed  from  the  East  in  England,  and  was  shown  about 
merely  as  an  elephant  by  her  proprietor,  an  Italian  called 
Polito.  The  Frenchmen  first  found  out  her  talent.  Her 
present  owner  was  a  M.  Huguet,  and  with  him  Mr.  Yates 
treated.  She  joined  the  Adelphi  company  at  a  salary  of 
^£40  a  week  and  her  grub. 

There  was  great  expectation  in  the  theatre  for  some  days. 
The  play  in  which  she  was  to  perform,  "  The  White  Elephant 
of  the  King  of  Siam,"  was  cast  and  rehearsed  several  times; 
a  wooden  house  was  built  for  her  at  the  back  of  the  stage, 
and  one  fine  afternoon,  sure  enough,  she  arrived  with  all  her 
train,  one  or  two  of  each  nation,  viz.,  her  owner,  M.  Huguet 


io  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

(French);  her  principal  keeper,  Tom  Elliot  (English);  her 
subordinates, — Bernard  (French),  and  an  Italian  nicknamed 
Pippin.  She  arrived  at  the  stage  door  in  Maiden  Lane,  and 
soon  after  the  messenger  was  sent  to  Mr.  Yates'  house. 

"White  Elephant's  come,  sir." 

"Well,  let  them  put  her  in  the  place  built  for  her,  and  I'll 
come  and  see  her." 

"  They  can't  do  that,  sir." 

"Why  not?" 

"  La  !  bless  you,  sir,  she  might  get  her  foot  into  the  theatre, 
but  how  is  her  body  to  come  through  the  stage  door  ?  Why, 
she  is  almost  as  big  as  the  house." 

Down  comes  Mr.  Yates,  and  there  was  the  White  Elephant 
standing  all  across  Maiden  Lane, — all  traffic  interrupted  ex- 
cept what  could  pass  under  her  belly, — and  such  a  crowd, — 
my  eye! 

Mr.  Yates  put  his  hands  in  his  pockets  and  took  a  quiet 
look  at  the  state  of  affairs. 

"  You  must  make  a  hole  in  the  wall,"  said  he. 

Pickaxes  went  to  work,  and  made  a  hole,  or  rather  a  fright- 
ful chasm,  in  the  theatre,  and  when  it  looked  about  two-thirds 
her  size,  Elliot  said,  "  Stop  ! "  He  then  gave  her  a  sharp 
order,  and  the  first  specimen  we  saw  of  her  cleverness  was 
her  doubling  herself  together  and  creeping  in  through  that 
hole,  bending  her  fore  knees,  and  afterward  rising  and  drag- 
ging her  hind  legs  horizontally,  and  she  disappeared  like  an 
enormous  mole  burrowing  into  the  theatre. 

Mademoiselle  Djek's  bills  were  posted  all  over  the  town, 
and  everything  done  to  make  her  take,  and  on  the  following 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  n 

Tuesday  the  theatre  was  pretty  well  filled  by  the  public;  the 
manager  also  took  care  to  have  a  strong  party  in  the  pit.  In 
short,  she  was  nursed  as  other  stars  are  upon  their  cttbdt. 

Night  came;  all  was  anxiety  behind  the  lights  and  expec- 
tation in  front. 

The  green  curtain  drew  up,  and  Mr.  Yates  walked  on  in 
black  dress-coat  and  white  kid  gloves,  like  a  private  gentle- 
man just  landed  out  of  a  bandbox  at  the  Queen's  ball.  He 
was  the  boy  to  talk  to  the  public;  soft  sawder, — dignified  re- 
proach,— friendly  intercourse, — he  had  them  all  at  his  fingers' 
ends.  This  time  it  was  the  easy  tone  of  refined  conversation 
upon  the  intelligent  creature  he  was  privileged  to  introduce 
to  them.  I  remember  his  discourse  as  well  as  if  it  was 
yesterday. 

"  The  White  Elephant,"  said  Mr.  Yates,  "  is  a  marvel  of 
Nature.  We  are  now  to  have  the  pleasure  of  showing  her 
to  you  as  taking  her  place  in  art."  Then  he  praised  the 
wisdom  and  beneficence  of  creation.  "Among  the  small 
animals,  such  as  cats  and  men,  there  is  to  be  found  such  a 
thing  as  spite;  treachery  ditto,  and  love  of  mischief,  and 
even  cruelty  at  odd  times;  but  here  is  a  creature  with  the 
power  to  pull  down  our  houses  about  our  ears  like  Samson, 
but  with  a  heart  that  will  not  let  her  hurt  a  fly.  Properly  to 
appreciate  her  moral  character,  consider  what  a  thing  power 
is;  see  how  it  tries  us, — how  often  in  history  it  has  turned 
men  to  demons.  The  elephant,"  added  he,  "  is  the  friend 
of  man  by  choice,  not  by  necessity  or  instinct;  it  is  born  as 
wild  as  a  lion  or  buffalo;  but  the  moment  an  opportunity  ar- 
rives, its  kindred  intelligence  allies  it  to  man,  its  only  superior 


12  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

or  equal  in  reasoning  power.  We  are  about,"  said  Mr.  Yates, 
"  to  present  a  play  in  which  an  elephant  will  act  a  part,  and 
yet  act  but  herself,  for  the  intelligence  and  affectionate  dis- 
position she  will  display  on  these  boards  as  an  actress  are 
merely  her  own  private  and  domestic  qualities.  Not  every 
one  of  us  actors,  gentlemen,  can  say  as  much." 

Then  there  was  a  laugh,  in  which  Mr.  Yates  joined.  In 
short,  Mr.  Yates,  who  could  play  upon  the  public  ear  better 
than  some  fiddles  (I  name  no  names),  made  his  debutante 
popular  before  ever  she  stepped  upon  the  scene.  He  then 
bowed  with  intense  gratitude  to  the  audience  for  the  atten- 
tion they  had  honored  him  with,  retired  to  the  prompter's 
side,  and,  as  he  reached  it,  the  act  drop  flew  up  and  the  play 
began.  It  commenced  on  two  legs;  the  White  Elephant  did 
not  come  on  until  the  second  scene  of  the  act. 

The  drama  was  a  good  specimen  of  its  kind.  It  was  a 
story  of  some  interest,  and  length,  and  variety,  and  the 
writer  had  been  sharp  enough  not  to  make  the  White  Ele- 
phant too  common  in  it.  She  came  on  only  three  or  four 
times,  and  always  at  a  nick  of  time,  and  to  do  good  business, 
— as  theatricals  say,  f.  e.,  for  some  important  purpose  in  the 
story. 

A  king  of  Siam  had  lately  died,  and  the  White  Elephant 
was  seen  taking  her  part  in  the  funeral  obsequies.  She  de- 
posited his  sceptre,  etc.,  in  the  tomb  of  his  fathers,  and  was 
seen  no  more  in  that  act.  The  rightful  heir  to  this  throne 
was  a  young  prince,  to  whom  the^  White  Elephant  belonged. 
A  usurper  opposed  him,  and  a  battle  took  place;  the  rightful 
heir  was  worsted  and  taken  prisoner;  the  usurper  condemned 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  13 

him  to  be  thrown  into  the  sea.  In  the  next  act,  this 
sentence  was  being  executed;  four  men  were  discovered 
passing  through  a  wood  carrying  a  box.  Suddenly  a 
terrific  roar  was  heard;  the  men  put  down  the  box  rather 
more  carefully  than  they  would  in  real  life,  and  fled,  and  the 
White  Elephant  walked  on  to  the  scene  alone  like  any  other 
actress.  She  smelt  about  the  box,  and  presently  tore  it  open 
with  her  proboscis,  and  there  was  her  master,  the  rightful 
heir,  but  in  a  sad  exhausted  state.  When  the  good  soul  sees 
this,  what  does  she  do  but  walk  to  the  other  side  and  tear 
down  the  bough  of  a  fruit-tree-  and  hand  it  to  the  sufferer  ? 
He  sucked  it,  and  it  had  the  effect  of  stout  on  him;  it  made 
a  man  of  him,  and  they  marched  away  together,  the  White 
Elephant  trumpeting  to  show  her  satisfaction. 

In  the  next  act  the  rightful  heir's  friends  were  discovered 
behind  the  bars  of  a  prison  at  a  height  from  the  ground. 
The  order  for  their  execution  arrived,  and  they  were  down 
upon  their  luck  terribly.  In  marched  the  White  Elephant, 
tore  out  the  iron  bars,  and  squeezed  herself  against  the  wall, 
half  squatting  in  the  shape  of  a  triangle;  so  then  the  prison- 
ers glided  down  her  to  the  ground  slantendicular  one  after 
another. 

When  the  civil  war  had  lasted  long  enough  to  sicken  both 
sides,  and  enough  widows  and  orphans  had  been  made,  the 
Siamese  began  to  ask  themselves,  "  But  what  is  it  all  about  ?" 
The  next  thing  was,  they  said,  "What  asses  we  have  been! 
Was  there  no  other  way  of  deciding  between  two  men  but 
bleeding  the  whole  tribe  ?"  Then  they  reflected  and  said, 
"  We  are  asses,  that  is  clear;  but  we  hear  there  is  one  animal 


14  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

•in  the  nation  that  is  not  an  ass;  why,  of  course,  then  she  is 
the  one  to  decide  our  dispute."  Accordingly,  a  grand  assem- 
bly was  held,  the  rival  claimants  were  compelled  to  attend, 
and  the  White  Elephant  was  led  in.  Then  the  high  priest, 
or  some  such  article,  having  first  implored  Heaven  to  speak 
through  the  quadruped,  bade  her  decide  according  to  justice. 
No  sooner  were  the  words  out  of  his  mouth  than  the  White 
Elephant  stretched  out  her  proboscis,  seized  a  little  crown 
that  glittered  on  the  usurper's  head,  and  waving  it  gracefully 
in  the  air,  deposited  it  gently  and  carefully  on  the  brows  of 
the  rightful  heir.  So  then  there  was  a  rush  made  on  the 
wrongful  heir.  He  was  taken  out  guarded,  and  warned  off 
the  premises;  the  rightful  heir  mounted  the  throne,  and 
grinned  and  bowed  all  round, — the  White  Elephant  trum- 
peted,— Siam  hurrahed, — Djek's  party  in  the  house  echoed 
the  sound,  and  down  came  the  curtain  in  thunders  of  ap- 
plause. Though  the  curtain  was  down,  the  applause  con- 
tinued most  vehemently,  and  after  a  while  a  cry  arose  at  the 
back  of  the  pit,  "White  Elephant !  White  Elephant !  "  That 
part  of  the  audience  that  had  paid  at  the  door  laughed  at 
this,  but  their  laughter  was  turned  to  curiosity  when,  in  an- 
swer to  the  cry,  the  curtain  was  raised,  and  the  stage  discov- 
ered empty.  Curiosity  in  turn  gave  way  to  surprise,  for  the 
White  Elephant  walked  on  from  the  third  grooves  alone,  and 
came  slap  down  to  the  float.  At  this,  the  astonished  public 
literally  roared  at  her.  But  how  can  I  describe  the  effect, 
the  amazement,  when  in  return  for  the  compliment,  the  cttbu- 
tantes\ovf\y  bent  her  knees  and  courtesied  twice  to  the  British 
public,  and  then  retired  backwards  as  the  curtain  once  more 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  15 

fell  ?  People  looked  at  one  another,  and  seemed  to  need 
to  read  in  their  neighbors'  eyes  whether  such  a  thing  was 
real;  and  then  followed  that  buzz  which  tells  the  knowing 
ones  behind  the  curtain  that  the  nail  has  gone  home;  that 
the  theatre  will  be  crammed  to  the  ceiling  to-morrow  night, 
and  perhaps  for  eighty  nights  after. 

Mr.  Yates  fed  Mademoiselle  Djek  with  his  own  hand  that 
night,  crying,  "O  you  duck!  " 

The  fortunes  of  the  Adelphi  rose  from  that  hour, — full 
houses  without  intermission. 

Mr.  Yates  shortened  his  introductory  address,  and  used 
to  make  it  a  brief,  neat,  and,  I  think,  elegant  eulogy  of  her 
gentleness  and  affectionate  disposition ;  her  talent  "  the 
public  are  here  to  judge  for  themselves,"  said  Mr.  Yates, 
and  exit  P.  S. 

A  theatre  is  a  little  world,  and  Djek  soon  became  the  hero 
of  ours.  Everybody  must  have  a  passing  peep  at  the  star 
that  was  keeping  the  theatre  open  all  summer,  and  pro- 
viding bread  for  a  score  or  two  of  families  connected  with 
it.  Of  course,  a  mind  like  mine  was  not  among  the  least 
inquisitive.  But  her  head-keeper,  Tom  Elliot,  a  surly 
fellow,  repulsed  our  attempts  to  scrape  acquaintance.  "  Mind 
your  business,  and  I'll  mind  mine,"  was  his  chant.  He 
seemed  to  be  wonderfully  jealous  of  her.  He  could  not 
forbid  Mr.  Yates  to  visit  her,  as  he  did  us,  but  he  always 
insisted  on  being  one  of  the  party  even  then.  He  puzzled 
us;  but  the  strongest  impression  he  gave  us  was  that  he 
was  jealous  of  her, — afraid  that  she  would  get  as  fond  of 
some  others  as  of  him,  and  so  another  man  might  be  able 


16  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

to  work  her,  and  his  own  nose  lose  a  joint,  as  the  saying  is. 
Later  on  we  learned  to  put  a  different  interpretation  on  his 
conduct.  Pippin  the  Italian,  and  Bernard  the  Frenchman, 
used  to  serve  her  with  straw  and  water,  etc.,  but  it  was  quite 
a  different  thing  from  Elliot.  They  were  like  a  fine  lady's 
grooms  and  running  footmen,  but  Elliot  was  her  body-ser- 
vant, groom  of  the  bed-chamber,  or  what  not.  He  used 
always  to  sleep  in  the  straw  close  to  her.  Sometimes,  when 
he  was  drunk,  he  would  roll  in  between  her  legs;  and  if  she 
had  not  been  more  careful  of  him  than  any  other  animal 
ever  was  (especially  himself),  she  must  have  crushed  him  to 
death  three  nights  in  the  week.  Next  to  Elliot,  but  a 
long  way  below  him,  M.  Huguet  seemed  her  favorite.  He 
used  to  come  into  her  box,  and  caress  her,  and  feed  her,  and 
make  much  of  her;  but  she  never  went  on  the  stage  without 
Elliot  in  sight;  and,  in  point  of  fact,  all  she  did  upon  our 
stage  was  done  at  a  word  of  command  given  then  and  there 
at  the  side  by  this  man  and  no  other, — going  down  to  the 
float,  courtesying,  and  all. 

Being  mightily  curious  to  know  how  he  had  gained  such 
influence  with  her,  I  made  several  attempts  to  sound  him; 
but,  drunk  or  sober,  he  was  equally  unfathomable  on  this 
point. 

I  then  endeavored  to  slake  my  curiosity  at  No.  2.  I  made 
bold  to  ask  Mr.  Huguet  how  he  had  won  her  affections. 
The  Frenchman  was  as  communicative  as  the  native  was 
reserved.  He  broke  plenty  of  English  over  me.  It  came 
to  this,  that  the  strongest  feeling  of  a  White  Elephant  was 
gratitude,  and  that  he  had  worked  on  this  for  years;  was 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  17 

always  kind  to  her,  and  seldom  approached  her  without 
giving  her  lumps  of  sugar, — carried  a  pocketful  on  purpose. 
This  tallied  with  what  I  had  heard  and  read  of  an  elephant; 
still  the  problem  remained:  Why  is  she  fonder  still  of  this 
Tom  Elliot,  whose  manner  is  not  ingratiating,  and  who 
never  speaks  to  her  but  in  a  harsh,  severe  voice  ? 

She  stood  my  friend,  any  way.  A  good  many  new  supers 
were  engaged  to  play  with  her,  and  I  was  set  over  these, 
looked  out  their  dresses,  and  went  on  with  them  and  her  as 
a  slave  ;  nine  shillings  a  week  for  this  was  added  to  my 
other  nine  which  I  drew  for  dressing  an  actor  or  two  of  the 
higher  class. 

The  more  I  was  about  her,  the  more  I  felt  that  we  were 
not  at  the  bottom  of  this  quadruped,  not  even  of  her  bipeds. 
There  were  gestures  and  glances  and  shrugs  always  passing 
to  and  fro  among  them. 

One  day  at  the  rehearsal  of  a  farce  there  was  no  Mr. 
Yates.  Sombody  inquired  loudly  for  him. 

"  Hush!  "  says  another;  " haven't  you  heard?" 

"No." 

"You  mustn't  talk  of  it  out  of  doors." 

"No!" 

"  Half  killed  by  the  White  Elephant  this  morning." 

It  seems  he  was  feeding  and  coaxing  her,  as  he  had  often 
done  before,  when  all  in  "a  momemt  she  laid  hold  of  him 
with  her  trunk  and  gave  him  a  squeeze.  He  lay  in  bed  six 
weeks  with  it,  and  there  was  nobody  to  deliver  her  eulogy  at 
night.  Elliot  was  at  the  other  end  of  the  stage  when  the 
accident  happened.  He  heard  Mr.  Yates  cry  out,  and  ran 


i8  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

in,  and  tne  White  Elephant  let  Mr.  Yates  go  the  moment 
she  saw  him. 

We  questioned  Elliot.  We  might  as  well  have  cross- 
examined  the  Monument.  Then  I  inquired  of  M.  Huguet 
what  this  meant.  Thai  gentleman  explained  to  me  that 
Djek  had  miscalculated  her  strength;  that  she  wanted  to 
caress  so  kind  a  manager,  who  was  always  feeding  and 
courting  her,  and  had  embraced  him  too  warmly. 

The  play  went  on,  and  the  White  Elephant's  reputation 
increased.  But  her  popularity  was  destined  to  receive  a 
shock,  as  far  as  we  little  ones  behind  the  curtain  were  con- 
cerned. 

One  day  while  Pippin  was  spreading  her  straw,  she 
knocked  him  down  with  her  trunk,  and  pressing  her  tooth 
against  him,  bored  two  frightful  holes  in  his  skull  before 
Elliot  could  interfere.  Pippin  was  carried  to  St.  George's 
Hospital,  and  we  began  to  look  in  one  another's  faces. 

Pippin's  situation  was  in  the  market. 

One  or  two  declined  it.  It  came  down  to  me.  I  reflected, 
and  accepted  it:  another  nine  shillings;  total,  twenty-seven 
shillings. 

That  night  two  supers  turned  tail.  An  actress  also,  whose 
name  I  have  forgotten,  refused  to  go  on  with  her.  "  I  was 
not  engaged  to  play  with  a  brute,"  said  this  lady,  "and  I 
won't."  Others  went  on  as  usual,  but  were  not  so  sweet  on 
it  as  before.  The  rightful  heir  lost  all  relish  for  his  part, 
and  above  all,  when  his  turn  came  to  be  preserved  from 
harm  by  her,  I  used  to  hear  him  crying  out  of  the  box  to 
Elliot:  "Are  you  there? — are  you  sure  you  are  there?" 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  19 

and  when  she  tore  open  his  box,  Garrick  never  acted  better 
than  this  one  used  to  now,  for  you  see  his  cue  was  to  exhibit 
fear  and  exhaustion,  and  he  did  both  to  the  life,  because  for 
the  last  five  minutes  he  had  been  thinking,  "  O  dear  !  O  dear  ! 
suppose  she  should  do  the  foot  business  on  my  box  instead 
of  the  proboscis  business." 

These,  however,  were  vain  fears.  She  made  no  mistake 
before  the  public. 

Nothing  lasts  forever  in  this  world,  and  the  time  came 
that  she  ceased  to  fill  the  house.  Then  Mr.  Yates  re- 
engaged her  for  the  provinces,  and  having  agreed  with  the 
country  managers,  sent  her  down  to  Bath  and  Bristol  first. 

He  had  a  good  opinion  of  me,  and  asked  me  to  go  with 
her  and  watch  his  interests.  I  should  certainly  not  have  ap- 
plied for  the  place,  but  it  was  not  easy  to  say  no  to  Mr. 
Yates. 

In  short,  we  started,  Djek,  Elliot,  Bernard,  I,  and  Pippin, 
on  foot  (he  was  just  out  of  St.  George's).  Messrs.  Huguet 
and  Yates  rolled  in  their  carriage  to  meet  us  at  the  principal 
towns  where  we  played. 

As  we  could  not  afford  to  make  her  common,  our  walking 
was  all  night-work,  and  introduced  me  to  a  rough  life. 

The  average  of  night  weather  is  wetter  and  windier  than 
day,  and  many  a  vile  night  we  tramped  through  when  wise 
men  were  abed;  and  we  never  knew  for  certain  where  we 
should  pass  the  night,  for  it  depended  on  Djek.  She  was  so 
enormous  that  half  the  inns  could  not  find  us  a  place  big 
enough  for  her.  Our  first  evening  stroll  was  to  Bath  and 
Bristol;  thence  we  crossed  to  Dublin,  thence  we  returned  to 


20  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

Plymouth.  We  walked  from  Plymouth  to  Liverpool,  playing 
with  good  success  at  all  these  places.  At  Liverpool  she  laid 
hold  of  Bernard  and  would  have  settled  his  hash,  but  Elliot 
came  between  them. 

That  same  afternoon  in  walks  a  young  gentleman  dressed 
in  the  height  of  Parisian  fashion, — glossy  hat,  satin  tie, 
trousers  puckered  at  the  haunches, — sprucer  than  any  poor 
Englishman  will  be  while  the  world  lasts,  and  who  was  it  but 
Mons.  Bernard  come  to  take  leave  ?  We  endeavored  to  dis- 
suade him.  He  smiled  and  shook  his  head,  treated  us, 
flattered  us,  and  showed  us  his  preparations  for  France. 

All  that  day  and  the  next  he  sauntered  about  us  dressed 
like  a  gentleman,  with  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and  an 
ostentatious  neglect  of  his  late  affectionate  charge.  Before 
he  left  he  invited  me  to  drink  something  at  his  expense,  and 
was  good  enough  to  say  I  was  what  he  most  regretted  leaving. 

"  Then  why  go  ? "  said  I. 

"  I  will  tell  you,  mon  pauvre  garcon,"  said  Mons.  Bernard. 
"  We  old  hands  have  all  got  our  orders  to  say  she  is  a  duck. 
Ah!  you  have  found  that  out  of  yourself.  Well,  now,  as  I 
have  done  with  her,  I  will  tell  you  a  part  of  her  character, 
for  I  know  her  well.  Once  she  injures  you  she  can  never 
forgive  you.  So  long  as  she  has  never  hurt  you  there's  a 
fair  chance  she  never  will.  I  have  been  about  her  for  years, 
and  she  never  molested  me  till  yesterday.  But,  if  she  once 
attacks  a  man,  that  man's  death-warrant  is  signed.  I  can't 
altogether  account  for  it,  but  trust  my  experience,  it  is  so. 
I  would  have  stayed  with  you  all  my  life  if  she  had  not 
shown  me  my  fate,  but  not  now.  Merci!  I  have  a  wife  and 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  21 

two  children  in  France.  I  have  saved  some  money  out  of 
her.  I  return  to  the  bosom  of  my  family;  and  if  Pippin 
stays  with  her  after  the  hint  she  gave  him  in  London,  why, 
you  will  see  the  death  of  Pippin,  my  lad,  voila  tout,  that  is 
if  you  don't  go  first.  Qu'est  que  ?a  te  fait  a  la  fin?  tu  es 
garcon  toi — buvons!  " 

The  next  day  he  left  us,  and  left  me  sad  for  one.  The 
quiet  determination  with  which  he  acted  upon  positive  ex- 
perience of  her  was  enough  to  make  a  man  thoughtful;  and 
then  Bernard  was  the  flower  of  us:  he  was  the  drop  of  mirth 
and  gayety  in  our  iron  cup.  He  was  a  pure,  unadulterated 
Frenchman;  and,  to  be  just,  where  can  you  find  anything  so 
delightful  as  a  Frenchman — of  the  right  sort? 

He  fluttered  home  singing, 

"  Les  doux  yeux  de  ma  brunet — te, 
Tout — e  mignonett — e — tout— e — gentillett— e, " 

and  left  us  all  in  black. 

God  bless  you,  my  merry  fellow.  I  hope  you  found  your 
children  healthy,  and  your  brunette  true,  and  your  friends 
alive,  and  that  the  world  is  just  to  you,  and  smiles  on  you, 
as  you  do  on  it,  and  did  on  us. 

From  Liverpool  we  walked  to  Glasgow,  from  Glasgow  to 
Edinburgh,  and  from  Edinburgh,  on  a  cold,  starry  midnight, 
we  started  for  Newcastle. 

In  this  interval  of  business  let  me  paint  you  my  compan- 
ions, Pippin  and  Elliot.  The  reader  is  entitled  to  this,  for 
there  must  have  been  something  out  of  the  common  in  their 
looks,  since  I  was  within  an  ace  of  being  killed  along  of  the 


22  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

Italian's  face,  and  was  imprisoned  four  days  through  the 
Englishman's  mug. 

The  Italian  whom  we  know  by  the  nickname  of  Pippin 
was  a  man  of  immense  stature  and  athletic  mould.  His  face, 
once  seen,  would  never  be  forgotten.  His  skin,  almost  as 
swarthy  as  Othello's,  was  set  off  by  dazzling  ivory  teeth,  and 
lighted  by  two  glorious  large  eyes,  black  as  jet,  brilliant  as 
diamonds;  the  orbs  of  black  lightning  gleamed  from  beneath 
eyebrows  that  many  a  dandy  would  have  bought  for  mus- 
taches at  a  high  valuation.  A  nose  like  a  reaping-hook 
completed  him.  Perch  him  on  a  tolerable-sized  rock,  and 
there  you  had  a  black  eagle. 

As  if  this  was  not  enough,  Pippin  would  always  wear  a 
conical  hat;  and  had  he  but  stepped  upon  the  stage  in 
"  Masaniello  "  or  the  like,  all  the  other  brigands  would  have 
sunk  down  to  a  rural  police  by  the  side  of  our  man.  But 
now  comes  the  absurdity.  His  inside  was  not  different  from 
his  out;  it  was  the  exact  opposite.  You  might  turn  over 
twenty  thousand  bullet  heads  and  bolus  eyes  before  you 
could  find  one  man  so  thoroughly  harmless  as  this  thunder- 
ing brigand.  He  was  just  a  pet,  a  universal  pet  of  all  the 
men  and  women  that  came  near  him.  He  had  the  disposi- 
tion of  a  dove  and  the  heart  of  a  hare.  He  was  a  lamb  in 
wolf's  clothing. 

My  next  portrait  is  not  so  pleasing. 

A    MAN    TURNED    BRUTE. 

Some  ten  years  before  this,  a  fine  stout  young  English 
rustic  entered  the  service  of  Mademoiselle  Djek.  He  was 
a  model  for  bone  and  muscle,  and  had  two  cheeks  like  roses. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  23 

When  he  first  went  to  Paris  he  was  looked  on  as  a  curiosity 
there.  People  used  to  come  to  Djek's  stable  to  see  her,  and 
Elliot,  the  young  English  Samson.  Just  ten  years  after  this 
young  Elliot  had  got  to  be  called  "  old  Elliot."  His  face  was 
not  only  pale,  it  was  colorless;  it  was  the  face  of  a  walking 
corpse.  This  came  of  ten  year's  brandy  and  brute.  I  have 
often  asked  people  to  guess  the  man's  age,  and  they  always 
guessed  sixty,  sixty-five,  or  seventy, — oftenest  the  latter. 

He  was  thirty-five, — not  a  day  more. 

This  man's  mind  had  come  down  along  with  his  body. 
He  understood  nothing  but  White  Elephant;  he  seldom 
talked,  and  then  nothing  but  White  Elephant.  He  was  a 
White  Elephant  man.  I  will  give  you  an  instance  which  I 
always  thought  curious. 

A  White  Elephant,  you  may  have  observed,  cannot  stand 
quite  still.  The  great  weight  of  its  head  causes  a  nodding 
movement,  which  is  perpetual  when  the  creature  stands 
erect.  Well,  this  Tom  Elliot  when  he  stood  up,  used  always 
to  have  one  foot  advanced,  and  his  eyes  half  closed,  and  his 
head  niddle-nodding  like  a  White  Elephant  all  the  time;  and, 
with  it  all,  such  a  presence  of  brute  and  absence  of  soul  in 
his  mug,  enough  to  give  a  thoughtful  man  some  very  queer 
ideas  about  man  and  beast. 


24  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

CHAPTER  II. 

MY  office  in  this  trip  was  merely  to  contract  for  the  White 
Elephant's  food  at  the  various  places;  but  I  was  getting 
older  and  shrewder,  and  more  designing  than  I  used  to  be, 
and  I  was  quite  keen  enough  to  see  in  this  White  Elephant 
the  means  of  bettering  my  fortunes,  if  I  could  but  make 
friends  with  her.  But  how  to  do  this  ?  She  was  like  a  co- 
quette: strange  admirers  welcome;  but  when  you  had  courted 
her  awhile  she  got  tired  of  you,  and  then  nothing  short  of 
your  demise  satisfied  her  caprice.  Her  heart  seemed  inacces- 
sible except  to  this  brute  Elliot,  and  he,  drunk  or  sober, 
guarded  the  secret  of  his  fascination  by  some  instinct,  for 
reason  he  possessed  in  a  very  small  degree. 

I  played  the  spy  on  quadruped  and  biped,  and  I  found  out 
the  fact,  but  the  reason  beat  me.  I  saw  that  she  was  more 
tenderly  careful  of  him  than  a  mother  of  her  child.  I  saw 
him  roll  down  stupid  drunk  under  her  belly,  and  I  saw  her 
lift  first  one  foot  and  then  the  other,  and  draw  them  slowly 
and  carefully  back,  trembling  with  fear  lest  she  might  make 
a  mistake  and  hurt  him. 

But  why  she  was  a  mother  to  him  and  a  step-mother  to 
the  rest  of  us,  that  I  could  not  learn. 

One  day,  between  Plymouth  and  Liverpool,  having  left 
Elliot  and  her  together,  I  happened  to  return,  and  I  found 
the  White  Elephant  alone  and  in  a  state  of  excitement,  and 
looking  in  I  observed  some  blood  on  the  straw. 

His  turn  has  come  at  last,  was  my  first  notion;  but,  look- 
ing round,  there  was  Elliot  behind  me. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  25 

"  I  was  afraid  she  had  tried  it  on  with  you,"  I  said. 

"Who?" 

"  The  White  Elephant. 

Elliot's  face  was  not  generally  expressive,  but  the  look  of 
silent  scorn  he  gave  me  at  the  idea  of  the  Elephant  attacking 
him  was  worth  seeing.  The  brute  knew  something  I  did  not 
know,  and  could  not  find  out;  and  from  this  one  piece  of 
knowledge  he  looked  down  upon  me  with  a  sort  of  contempt 
that  set  all  the  Seven  Dials'  blood  on  fire. 

"  I  will  bottom  this,"  said  I,  "if  I  die  for  it.' 

My  plan  was  now  to  feed  Djek  every  day  with  my  own 
hand,  but  never  to  go  near  her  without  Elliot  at  my  very 
side  and  in  front  of  the  White  Elephant. 

This  was  my  first  step. 

We  were  now  drawing  toward  Newcastle,  and  had  to  lie  at 
Morpeth,  where  we  arrived  late,  and  found  Mr.  Yates  and 
M.  Huguet,  who  had  come  out  from  Newcastle  to  meet  us; 
and  at  this  place  I  determined  on  a  new  move  which  I  had 
long  meditated. 

Elliot,  I  reflected,  always  slept  with  the  White  Elephant. 
None  of  the  other  men  had  ever  done  this.  Now  might 
there  not  be  some  magic  in  this  unbroken  familiarity  between 
the  two  animals  ? 

Accordingly,  at  Morpeth,  I  pretended  that  there  was  no 
bed  vacant  in  the  inn,  and  asked  Elliot  to  let  me  lie  beside 
him:  he  grunted  an  ungracious  assent. 

Not  to  overdo  it  at  first,  I  got  Elliot  between  me  and  Djek, 
so  that  if  she  was  offended  at  my  intrusion  she  must  pass 
over  her  darling  to  resent  it.  We  had  tramped  a  good 


26  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

many  miles,  and  were  soon  fast  asleep.  About  two  in  the 
morning  I  was  awoke  by  a  shout  and  a  crunching,  and  felt 
myself  dropping  into  the  straw  out  of  the  elephant's  mouth. 
She  had  stretched  her  proboscis  over  him, — had  taken  me 
up  so  delicately  that  I  felt  nothing,  and  when  Elliot  shouted 
I  was  in  her  mouth.  At  his  voice,  that  rung  in  my  ears  like 
the  last  trumpet,  she  dropped  me  like  a  hot  potato.  I  rolled 
out  of  the  straw,  giving  tongue  a  good  one,  and  ran  out 
of  the  shed.  I  had  no  sooner  got  to  the  inn  than  I  felt  a 
sickening  pain  in  my  shoulder  and  fainted  away. 

Her  huge  tooth  had  gone  into  my  shoulder  like  a  wedge. 
It  was  myself  I  had  heard  being  crunched. 

They  did  what  they  could  for  me,  and  I  soon  came  to. 
When  I  recovered  my  senses  I  was  seized  with  vomiting;  but 
at  last  all  violent  symptoms  abated,  and  I  began  to  suffer 
great  pain  in  the  injured  part,  and  did  suffer  for  six  weeks. 

And  so  I  scraped  clear.  Somehow  or  other,  Elliott  was 
not  drunk,  or  nothing  could  have  saved  me.  For  a 
second  wonder,  he,  who  was  a  heavy  sleeper,  woke  at  the 
very  slight  noise  she  made  eating  me:  a  moment  later  and 
nothing  could  have  saved  me.  I  use  too  many  words, — 
suppose  she  had  eaten  me, — what  then  ? 

They  told  Mr.  Yates  at  breakfast,  and  he  sent  for  me,  and 
advised  me  to  lie  quiet  at  Morpeth  till  the  fever  of  the  wound 
should  be  off  me;  but  I  refused.  She  was  to  start  at  ten, 
and  I  told  him  I  should  start  with  her. 

Running  from  grim  death  like  that,  I  had  left  my  shoes 
behind  in  the  shed,  and  M.  Huguet  sent  his  servant  Baptiste, 
an  Italian,  for  them. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  27 

Mr.  Yates  then  asked  me  for  all  the  particulars,  and  while 
I  was  telling  him  and  M.  Huguet,  we  heard  a  commotion  in 
the  street,  and  saw  people  running,  and  presently  one  of  the 
waiters  ran  in  and  cried: 

"  The  White  Elephant  has  killed  a  man,  or  near  it." 

Mr.  Yates  laughed  and  said: 

"  Not  quite  so  bad  as  that;  for  here  is  the  man." 

"  No,  no,"  cried  the  waiter,  "  it  is  not  him;  it  is  one  of  the 
foreigners." 

Mr.  Yates  started  up  all  trembling.  He  ran  to  the  stable. 
I  followed  him  as  I  was,  and  there  we  saw  a  sight  to  make 
our  blood  run  cold.  On  the  corn-bin  lay  poor  Baptiste 
crushed  into  a  mummy.  How  it  happened  there  was  no 
means  of  knowing;  but,  no  doubt,  while  he  was  groping  in 
the  straw  for  my  wretched  shoes,  she  struck  him  with  her 
trunk,  perhaps  more  than  once;  his  breast  bones  were  broken 
to  chips,  and  every  time  he  breathed,  which  by  God's  mercy 
was  not  many  minutes,  the  man's  whole  chest-frame  puffed 
out  like  a  bladder  with  the  action  of  his  lungs;  it  was  too 
horrible  to  look  at. 

Elliott  had  run  at  Baptiste's  cry,  but  too  late  to  save  his 
life  this  time.  He  had  drawn  the  man  out  of  the  straw  as 
she  was  about  to  pound  him  to  a  jelly,  and  there  the  poor 
soul  lay  on  the  corn-bin,  and  by  his  side  lay  the  things  he 
had  died  for, — two  old  shoes.  Elliot  had  found  them  in 
the  straw,  and  put  them  there  of  all  places  in  the  world. 

By  this  time  all  Morpeth  was  out.  They  besieged  the 
doors  and  vowed  death  to  the  White  Elephant.  M.  Huguet 
became  greatly  alarmed.  He  could  spare  Baptiste,  but  he 


28  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

could  not  spare  Djek.  He  got  Mr.  Yates  to  pacify  the  peo- 
ple. "  Tell  them  something,"  said  he. 

"  What  on  earth  can  I  say  for  her  over  that  man's  bleeding 
body  ?"  said  Mr.  Yates.  "  Curse  her  !  Would  to  God  I  had 
never  seen  her  ! " 

"  Tell  them  he  used  her  cruel,"  said  M.  Huguet.  "  I  have 
brought  her  off  with  that  before  now." 

Well,  my  sickness  came  on  again,  partly,  no  doubt,  by  the 
sight  and  the  remorse,  and  I  was  got  to  bed,  and  lay  there 
some  days;  so  I  did  not  see  all  that  passed,  but  I  heard 
some,  and  I  know  the  rest  by  instinct  now. 

Half  an  hour  after  breakfast  time  Baptiste  died.  On  this 
the  White  Elephant  was  detained  by  the  authorities,  and  a 
coroner's  inquest  was  summoned,  and  sat  in  the  shambles  on 
the  victim,  with  the  butcheress  looking  on  at  the  proceedings. 

Pippin  told  me  she  took  off  a  juryman's  hat  during  the 
investigation,  waved  it  triumphantly  in  the  air,  and  placed  it 
cleverly  on  her  favorite's  head,  old  Tom. 

At  this  inquest  two  or  three  persons  deposed  on  oath  that 
the  deceased  had  ill  used  her  more  than  once  in  France;  in 
particular,  that  he  had  run  a  pitchfork  into  her  two  years 
ago;  that  he  had  been  remonstrated  with,  but  in  vain;  un- 
fortunately, she  had  recognized  him  at  once,  and  killed  him 
out  of  revenge  for  past  cruelty,  or  to  save  herself  from  fresh 
outrages. 

This  cooled  the  ardor  against  her.  Some  even  took  part 
with  her  against  the  man. 

"Run  a  pitchfork  into  a  White  Elephant!  O,  for  shame! 
no  wonder  she  killed  him  at  last.  How  good  of  her  not  to 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  29 

kill  him  then  and  there, — what  forbearance, — forgave  it  for 
two  years,  ye  see." 

How  curiously  things  happen !  Last  year,  /.  e.  more  than 
twenty  years  after  this  event,  my  little  girl  went  for  a  pound 
of  butter  to  Newport  Street.  She  brought  it  wrapped  up  in 
a  scrap  of  very  old  newspaper;  in  unrolling  it,  my  eye,  by 
mere  accident,  fell  upon  these  words  :  "An  inquest."  I  had 
no  sooner  read  the  paragraph  than  I  put  the  scrap  of  paper 
away  in  my  desk  ;  it  lies  before  me  now,  and  I  am  copy- 
ing it: 

"An  inquest  was  held  at  the  Phoenix  Inn,  Morpeth,  on 
the  27th  ultimo,  on  view  of  the  body  of  an  Italian  named 
Baptiste  Bernard,  who  was  one  of  the  attendants  on  the 
White  Elephant  which  lately  performed  at  the  Adelphi.  It 
appeared  from  the  evidence  that  the  man  had  stabbed  the 
elephant  in  the  trunk  with  a  pitchfork,  about  two  years  ago, 
while  in  a  state  of  intoxication,  and  that  on  the  Tuesday 
previous  to  the  inquest  the  animal  caught  hold  of  him  with 
her  trunk  and  did  him  so  much  injury  that  he  died  in  a  few 
hours.  Verdict:  died  from  the  wounds  and  bruises  received 
from  the  trunk  of  a  White  Elephant.  Deodand,  55." 

Business  is  business.  As  soon  as  we  had  got  the  inquest 
over  and  stamped  the  lie  current,  hid  the  truth  and  buried 
the  man,  we  marched  south  and  played  our  little  play  at 
Newcastle. 

Deodand  for  a  human  soul  sent  by  murder  to  its  account, 
five  bob. 

After  Newcastle  we  walked  to  York,  and  thence  to  Man- 
chester. I  crept  along  thoroughly  crestfallen.  Months  and 


30  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

months  I  had  watched,  and  spied,  and  tried  to  pluck  out  the 
heart  of  this  Tom  Elliot's  mystery;  I  had  failed.  Months 
and  months  I  had  tried  to  gain  some  influence  over  Djek;  I 
had  failed.  But  for  Elliot,  it  was  clear  I  should  not  live  a  single 
day  within  reach  of  her  trunk;  this  brute  was  my  superior. 
I  was  compelled  to  look  up  to  him,  and  I  did  look  up  to  him. 

As  I  tramped  sulkily  along,  my  smarting  shoulder  re- 
minded me  that  in  White  Elephant,  as  in  everything  else  I 
had  tried,  I  was  Jack,  not  master. 

The  proprietors  had  their  cause  of  discontent  too.  We 
had  silenced  the  law,  but  we  could  not  silence  opinion. 
Somehow  suspicion  hung  about  her  in  the  very  air  wherever 
she  went.  She  never  throve  in  the  English  provinces  after 
the  Morpeth  job,  and  finding  this,  Mr.  Yates  said:  "O,  hang 
her,  she  has  lost  her  character  here;  send  her  to  America." 
So  he  and  M.  Huguet  joined  partnership  and  took  this  new 
speculation  on  their  shoulders.  America  was  even  in  that 
day  a  great  card  if  you  went  with  an  English  or  French 
reputation. 

I  had  been  thinking  of  leaving  her  and  her  old  Tom  in 
despair;  but,  now  that  other  dangers  and  inconveniences 
were  to  be  endured  besides  her  and  her  trunk,  by  some 
strange  freak  of  human  nature,  or  by  fate,  I  began  to  cling 
to  her  like  a  limpet  to  a  rock  the  more  you  pull  at  him. 

Mr.  Yates  dissuaded  me.  "  Have  nothing  to  do  with  her, 
Jack;  she  will  serve  you  like  all  the  rest.  Stay  at  home, 
and  I'll  find  something  for  you  in  the  theatre." 

I  thought  a  great  deal  of  Mr.  Yates  for  this,  for  he  was 
speaking  against  his  own  interest.  I  was  a  faithful  servant 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  31 

to  him,  and  he  needed  one  about  her.  Many  a  five-pound 
note  I  had  saved  him  already,  and  well  he  deserved  it  at  my 
hands. 

"No  sir,"  I  said,  "I  shall  be  of  use,  and  I  can't  bear  to 
be  nonplussed  by  two  brutes  like  Elliot  and  her.  I  have 
begun  to  study  her,  and  I  must  go  on  to  the  word  'finis'! " 

Messrs.  Yates  and  Huguet  insured  the  White  Elephant 
for  ^20,000,  and  sent  us  all  to  sea  together  in  the  middle  of 
November — a  pretty  month  to  cross  the  Atlantic  in. 

This  was  what  betters  call  a  hedge,  and  not  a  bad  one. 

Our  party  was  Queen  Djek;  Mr.  Stevenson,  her  financier; 
Mr.  Gallott,  her  stage  manager  and  wrongful  heir;  Elliot, 
her  keeper,  her  lord,  her  king;  Pippin,  her  slave,  always 
trembling  for  his  head;  myself,  her-  commissariat;  and 
one  George  Hynde,  from  Wombwell's,  her  man-of-all-work. 

She  had  a  stout  cabin  built  upon  deck  for  her.  It  cost 
£40  to  make;  what  she  paid  for  the  accommodation  Heaven 
knows,  but  I  should  think  a  good,  round  sum,  for  it  was  the 
curse  of  the  sailors  and  passengers,  and  added  fresh  terrors 
to  navigation.  The  steersman  could  not  see  the  ship's  head 
until  the  sea  took  the  mariner's  part  and  knocked  it  into 
toothpicks. 

Captain  Sebor  had  such  a  passage  with  us  as  he  never  en- 
countered before.  He  told  us  so, — and  no  wonder;  he 
never  had  such  a  wholesale  murderess  on  board  before, — 
contrary  winds  forever,  and  stiff  gales  too.  At  last  it  blew 
great  guns;  and  one  night  as  the  sun  went  down  crimson  in 
the  gulf  of  Florida,  the.  sea  running  mountains  high,  I  saw 
Captain  Sebor  himself  was  fidgety.  He  had  cause.  That 


32  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

night  a  tempest  came  on;  the  "Ontario"  rolled  fearfully 
and  groaned  like  a  dying  man;  about  two  in  the  morning  a 
sea  struck  her,  smashed  Djek's  cabin  to  atoms,  and  left  her 
exposed  and  reeling;  another  such  would  now  have  swept 
her  overboard,  but  her  wits  never  left  her  for  a  moment. 
She  threw  herself  down  flatter  than  any  man  could  have 
conceived  possible;  out  went  all  her  four  legs,  and  she  glued 
her  belly  to  the  deck;  the  sailors  passed  a  chain  from  the 
weather  to  the  lee  bulwarks,  and  she  seized  it  with  her  pro- 
boscis, and  held  on  like  grim  death.  Poor  thing,  her  coat 
never  got  not  to  say  dry;  she  was  like  a  great  water-rat  all 
the  rest  of  the  voyage. 

The  passage  was  twelve  weeks  of  foul  weather.  The 
White  Elephant  began  to  be  suspected  of  being  the  cause  of 
this,  and  the  sailors  often  looked  askant  at  her,  and  said  we 
should  never  see  port  till  she  walked  the  plank  into  the  At- 
lantic. If  her  underwriters  saved  their  twenty  thousand 
pounds,  it  was  touch  and  go  more  than  once  or  twice.  More- 
over, she  ate  so  little  all  the  voyage  that  it  was  a  wonder  to 
Elliot  and  me  how  she  came  not  to  die  of  sickness  and 
hunger.  I  suppose  she  survived  it  all  because  she  had  more 
mischief  to  do. 

As  the  pretty  little  witches  sing  in  Mr.  Locke's  opera  of 
Macbeth:  "She  must,  she  must,  she  must,  she  must,  she 
must  shed — much — more — blood." 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  33 

CHAPTER  III. 

OUR  preposterous  long  voyage  deranged  all  the  calcula- 
tions that  had  been  made  for  us  in  England,  and  we  reached 
New  York  just  at  the  wrong  time.  We  found  Master  Burke 
laying  at  the  Park  Theatre,  and  we  were  forced  to  treat 
with  an  inferior  house,  the  Bowery  Theatre.  We  played 
there  with  but  small  success  compared  with  what  we  had 
been  used  to  in  Europe.  Master  Burke  filled  the  house, — 
we  did  not  fill  ours, — so  that  at  last  she  was  actually  eclipsed 
by  a  human  actor;  to  be  sure  it  was  a  boy,  not  a  man,  and 
child's  play  is  sometimes  preferred  by  the  theatre-going 
world  even  to  horseplay. 

The  statesmen  were  cold  to  us;  they  had  not  at  this  time 
learned  to  form  an  opinion  of  their  own  at  sight  on  such 
matters,  and  we  did  not  bring  them  an  overpowering  Euro- 
pean verdict  to  which  they  had  nothing  to  do  but  sign  their 
names.  There  was  no  groove  cut  for  the  mind  to  run  in, 
and  while  they  hesitated  the  speculation  halted.  I  think  she 
would  succeed  there  now;  but  at  this  time  they  were  not 
ripe  for  a  White  Elephant. 

We  left  New  York,  and  away  to  Philadelphia  on  foot  and 
steamboat. 

There  is  a  place  on  the  Delaware  where  the  boat  draws 
up  to  a  small  pier.  Down  this  we  marched,  and  about  ten 
yards  from  the  end  the  floor  gave  way  under  her  weight,  and 
Djek  and  her  train  fell  into  the  sea.  I  was  awoke  from  a 
reverie,  and  found  myself  sitting  right  at  top  of  her,  with  my 
knees  in  Chesapeake  Bay.  Elliot  had  a  rough  Benjamin  on, 


34  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

and  as  he  was  coming  thundering  down  with  the  rest  of  the 
rubbish,  alive  and  dead,  it  caught  in  a  nail,  and  he  hung 
over  the  bay  by  the  shoulder  like  an  Indian  fakir,  cursing 
and  swearing  for  all  the  world  like  a  dog  barking.  I  never 
saw  such  a  posture, — and  O,  the  language! 

I  swam  out,  but  Djek  was  caught  in  a  trap  between  the 
two  sets  of  piles.  The  water  was  about  two  feet  over  her 
head,  so  that  every  now  and  then  she  disappeared,  and  then 
striking  the  bottom  she  came  up  again,  plunging,  and  rolling, 
and  making  waves  like  a  steamboat.  Her  trunk  she  kept 
vertical,  like  the  hose  of  a  diving-bell,  and  O,  the  noises  that 
came  up  from  the  bottom  of  the  sea  through  that  flesh-pipe! 
For  about  four  hours  she  went  up  and  down  the  gamut  of 
"O  Lord,  what  shall  I  do?"  More  than  a  thousand  times, 
I  think.  We  brought  ropes  to  her  aid,  and  boats  and  men, 
and  tried  all  we  knew  to  move  her,  but  in  vain;  and  when 
we  had  exhausted  our  sagacity  she  drew  upon  a  better  bank, 
— her  own.  Talk  of  brutes  not  being  able  to  reason, — gam- 
mon. Djek  could  reason  like  Solomon;  for  each  fresh  diffi- 
culty she  found  a  fresh  resource.  On  this  occasion  she  did 
what  I  never  saw  her  do  before  or  since:  she  took  her  enor- 
mous skull,  and  used  it  as  a  battering-ram  against  the  piles; 
two  of  them  resisted — no  wonder — they  were  about  eight 
inches  in  diameter;  the  third  snapped  like  glass,  and  she 
plunged  through  and  waddled  on  shore.  I  met  her  with  a 
bucket  of  brandy  and  hot  water — stiff 

Ladies,  who  are  said  to  sip  this  compound  in  your  bou* 
doirs  while  your  husbands  are  smoking  at  the  clubs — but  I 
don't  believe  it  of  you — learn  how  this  lady  disposed  of  her 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  35 

wooden  tumbler  full.  She  thrust  her  proboscis  into  it.  Whis 
— s — s — s — p!  now  it  is  all  in  her  trunk.  Whis — s — s — sh! 
now  it  is  all  in  her  abdomen;  one  breath  drawn  and  exhaled 
sent  it  from  the  bucket  home.  This  done,  her  eye  twinkled, 
and  she  trumpeted  to  the  tune  of  "All  is  well  that  ends 
well." 

I  should  weary  the  reader  were  I  to  relate  at  length  all 
the  small  incidents  that  befell  us  in  the  United  States. 

The  general  result  was  failure,  loss  of  money,  our  salaries 
not  paid  up,  and  fearful  embarrassments  staring  us  in  the 
face.  We  scraped  through  without  pawning  the  White 
Elephant,  but  we  were  often  on  the  verge  of  it.  All  this  did 
not  choke  my  ambition.  Warned  by  the  past,  I  never  ven- 
tured near  her  (unless  Elliot  was  there)  for  twelve  months 
after  our  landing;  but  I  was  always  watching  Elliot  and  her 
to  find  the  secret  of  his  influence. 

A  fearful  annoyance  to  the  leaders  of  the  speculation  was 
the  drunkenness  of  Old  Tom  and  George  Hinde;  these  two 
encouraged  one  another  and  defied  us,  and  of  course  they 
were  our  masters,  because  no  one  but  Elliot  could  move 
the  White  Elephant  from  place  to  place,  or  work  her  on  the 
stage. 

One  night  Elliot  was  so  drunk  that  he  fell  down  senseless 
at  the  door  of  her  shed  on  his  way  to  repose.  I  was  not 
near,  but  Mr.  Gallott  it  seems  was,  and  he  told  us  she  put 
out  her  proboscis,  drew  him  tenderly  in,  laid  him  on  the 
straw,  and  flung  some  straw  over  him  or  partly  over  him. 

Mr.  Gallott  is  alive,  and  a  public  character;  you  can  ask 
him  whether  this  is  true:  I  tell  this  one  thing  on  hearsay. 


36  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

Not  long  after  this,  in  one  of  the  American  towns,  I  for- 
get which,  passing  by  Djek's  shed,  I  heard  a  tremendous 
row.  I  was  about  to  call  Elliot,  thinking  it  was  the  old 
story,  somebody  getting  butchered;  but,  I  don't  know  how 
it  was,  something  stopped  me,  and  I  looked  cautiously  in 
instead,  and  saw  Tom  Elliot  walking  into  her  with  a  pitch- 
fork, she  trembling  like  a  school-boy  with  her  head  in  a 
corner,  and  the  blood  streaming  from  her  sides.  As  soon 
as  he  caught  sight  of  me  he  left  off  and  muttered  unintel- 
ligibly. I  said  nothing.  I  thought  the  more. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

WE  had  to  go  by  water  to  a  place  called  City  Point,  and 
thence  to  Pittsville.  I  made  a  mistake  as  to  the  hour  the 
boat  started,  and  Djek  and  Co.  went  on  board  without  me. 

Well,  you  will  say  I  could  follow  by  the  next  boat.  But 
how  about  the  tin  to  pay  the  passage?  My  pocket  was  dry, 
and  the  treasurer  gone  on.  But  I  had  a  good  set  of  black- 
ing-brushes; so  sold  them,  and  followed  on  with  the  pro- 
ceeds— got  to  City  Point.  White  Elephant  gone  on  to 
Pittsville;  that  I  expected.  Twenty  miles  or  so  I  had  to 
tramp  on  an  empty  stomach.  And  now  doesn't  the  Devil 
send  me  a  fellow  who  shows  me  a  short  cut  through  a  wood 
to  Pittsville;  into  the  wood  I  go.  I  thought  it  was  to  be 
like  an  English  wood, — out  of  the  sun  into  a  pleasant  shade, 
and,  by  then  you  are  cool,  into  the  world  again.  Instead  of 
that,  "the  deeper,  the  deeper  you  are  in  it,"  as  the  song  of 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  37 

the  bottle  says;  the  farther  you  were  from  getting  out  of  it. 
Presently  two  roads  instead  of  one,  and  then  I  knew  I  was 
done.  I  took  one  road;  it  twisted  like  a  serpent.  I  had 
not  been  half  an  hour  on  it  before  I  lost  all  the  points  of  the 
compass.  Says  I,  I  don't  know  whether  I  ever  shall  see 
daylight  again;  but  if  I  do,  City  Point  will  be  the  first  thing 
I  shall  see.  You  mark  my  words,  said  I. 

So  here  was  I  lost  in  what  they  call  a  wood  out  there,  but 
we  should  call  a  forest  at  home.  And  now,  being  in  the 
heart  of  it,  I  got  among  the  devilishest  noises,  and  nothing 
to  be  seen  to  account  for  them;  little  feet  suddenly  pattering 
and  scurrying  along  the  ground,  wings  flapping  out  of  trees; 
but  what  struck  most  awe  into  a  chap  from  the  Seven  Dials 
was  the  rattle, — the  everlasting  rattle,  and  nothing  to  show. 
Often  I  have  puzzled  myself  what  this  rattle  could  be.  It 
was  like  a  thousand  rattlesnakes,  and  didn't  I  wish  I  was 
in  the  Seven  Dials,  though  some  get  lost  in  them  for  that 
matter.  After  all,  I  think  it  was  only  insects,  but  insects  by 
billions;  you  never  heard  anything  like  it  in  an  English  wood. 

Just  as  I  was  losing  heart  in  this  enchanted  wood,  I  heard 
an  earthly  sound,  the  tramp  of  a  horse's  foot.  It  was  music. 

But  the  leaves  were  so  thick  I  could  not  see  where  the 
horse  was;  he  seemed  to  get  farther  off,  and  then  nearer. 
At  last  the  sound  came  so  close  I  made  a  run,  burst  through 
a  lot  of  green  leaves,  and  came  out  plump  on  a  man  riding 
a  gray  cob.  He  up  with  the  but-end  of  his  whip  to  fell  me, 
but  seeing  I  was  respectable,  "  Halloo  !  stranger,"  says  he, 
"guess  you  sort  o'  startled  me."  "Beg  pardon,  sir,"  says  I, 
"but  I  have  lost  my  way."  "I  see  you  are  a  stranger,"  said  he. 


38  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

So  then  he  asked  me  where  I  was  bound  for,  and  I  told 
him  Pittsville. 

I  won't  insult  the  reader  by  telling  him  what  he  said  about 
the  course  I  had  been  taking  through  the  wood.  I  might  as 
well  tell  him  his  A  B  C,  or  which  side  his  bread  and  butter 
falls  in  the  dust  on.  Then  he  asked  me  who  I  was.  So  I 
told  him  I  was  one  of  the  White  Elephant's  domestics,  least- 
ways I  did  not  word  it  so  candid:  "I  was  in  charge  of  the 
White  Elephant,  and  had  taken  a  short  cut." 

Now  he  had  heard  of  Djek,  and  seen  her  bills  up,  so  he 
knew  it  was  all  right.  "  How  am  I  to  find  my  way  out,  sir?" 
said  I.  "  Find  your  way  out  ?"  said  he.  "  You  will  never 
find  your  way  out."  Good  news,  that. 

He  thought  a  bit;  then  he  said:  "The  best  thing  you  can 
do  is  to  come  with  me,  and  to-morrow  I  will  send  you  on." 

I  could  have  hugged  him. 

"You  had  better  walk  behind  me,"  says  he;  "my  pony 
bites."  So  I  tramped  astern;  and  on  we  went,  patter,  patter, 
patter  through  the  wood.  At  first  I  felt  as  jolly  as  a  sand- 
boy marching  behind  the  pony;  but  when  we  had  pattered 
best  part  of  an  hour,  I  began  to  have  my  misgivings.  In  all 
the  enchanted  woods  ever  I  had  read  of,  there  was  a  small 
trifle  of  a  wizard  or  ogre  that  took  you  home  and  settled 
your  hash.  Fee  faw  fum,  I  smell  the  blood  of  an  English- 
man, etc. 

And  still  on  we  pattered,  and  the  sun  began  to  decline, 
and  the  wood  to  darken,  and  still  we  pattered  on.  I  was 
just  thinking  of  turning  tail  and  slipping  back  among  the 
panthers,  and  mosquitoes,  and  rattlesnakes,  when,  O  be  joy- 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  39 

ful,  we  burst  on  a  clearing,  and  there  was  a  nice  house  in  the 
middle  of  it,  and  out  came  the  dogs  jumping  to  welcome  us, 
and  niggers  no  end  with  white  eyeballs  and  grinders  like 
snow. 

They  pulled  him  off  his  horse,  and  in  we  went.  There  was 
his  good  lady,  and  his  daughter, — a  beautiful  girl,  and  such 
a  dinner.  We  sat  down,  and  I  maintained  a  modest  tacitur- 
nity for  some  minutes:  "  The  silent  hog  eats  the  most  acorns." 
After  dinner  he  shows  me  all  manner  of  ways  of  mixing 
the  grog,  and  I  show  him  one  way  of  drinking  it, — when  you 
can  get  it.  Then  he  must  hear  about  the  White  Elephant. 
So  I  tell  him  the  jade's  history,  but  bind  him  to  secrecy. 

Then  the  young  lady  puts  in,  "  So  you  are  really  an  Eng- 
lishman ?"  and  she  looks  me  all  over. 

"  That  you  may  take  your  oath  of,  miss,"  says  I. 

"  Oh  !  "  says  she,  and  smiles.  I  did  not  take  it  up  at  first, 
but  I  see  what  it  was  now.  Me  standing  five  feet  four,  I  did 
not  come  up  to  her  notion  of  the  Father  of  all  Americans. 
"  Does  this  great  people  spring  from  such  a  little  stock  as 
we  have  here  ?"  thinks  my  young  lady.  I  should  have  up 
and  told  her  that  pluck  makes  the  man,  and  not  the  inches; 
but  I  lost  that  chance.  Then,  being  pressed  with  questions, 
I  told  them  all  my  adventures,  and  they  hung  on  my  words. 
It  was  a  new  leaf  to  them,  I  could  see  that. 

The  young  lady's  eyes  glittered  like  two  purple  stars  at  a 
stranger  with  the  gift  of  the  gab  that  had  seen  so  much  life 
as  I  had,  and  midnight  came  in  on  time.  Then  I  was  ush- 
ered to  bed.  Now  up  to  that  time  I  had  always  gone  to 
roost  without  pomp  or  ceremony;  sometimes  with  a  mould 


40  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

candle,  but  oftener  a  farthing  dip,  which  I  have  seen  it  dart 
its  beams  out  of  a  bottle  instead  of  a  flat  candlestick. 

This  time  a  whole  cavalcade  of  us  went  up  the  stairs;  one 
blackie  marched  in  my  van  with  two  lights,  two  blackies 
brought  up  my  rear.  They  showed  me  into  a  beautiful  room, 
and  stood  in  the  half-light  with  eyes  and  teeth  like  red-hot 
silver,  glittering  and  diabolical.  I  thought,  of  course,  they 
would  go  away  now.  Not  they.  Presently  one  imp  of  dark- 
ness brings  me  a  chair. 

I  sit  down,  and  wonder.  Other  two  lay  hold  of  my  boots 
and  whip  them  off.  This  done,  they  buzz  about  me  like 
black  and  white  fiends,  fidgeting,  till  I  longed  to  punch  their 
heads.  They  pull  my  coat  off  and  my  trousers;  then  they 
hoist  me  into  bed:  this  done,  first  one  makes  a  run  and  tucks 
me  in,  and  grins  over  me  diabolical;  then  another  comes  like 
a  battering-ram,  and  tucks  me  in  tighter.  Fiend  3  looks  at 
the  work,  and  puts  the  artful  touches  at  the  corners,  and  be- 
hold me  wedged,  and  then  the  beneficent  fiends  mizzled  with 
a  hearty  grin  that  seemed  to  turn  them  all  ivory.  I  could  not 
believe  my  senses;  I  had  never  been  tucked  in  since  my 
mother's  time. 

In  the  morning,  I  struggled  out,  and  came  down  to  break- 
fast. Took  leave  of  the  good  Samaritan,  who  appointed  two 
of  my  niggers  to  "see  me  out  of  the  wood;  made  my  bow  to 
the  ladies,  and  away  with  a  grateful  heart.  The  niggers  con- 
ducted me  clear  of  the  wood  and  set  me  on  the  broad  road. 
«  Then  came  one  of  the  pills  a  poor  fellow  has  to  stomach. 
I  had  made  friends  with  the  poor  darkies,  and  now  I  had  not 
even  a  few  pence  to  give  them,  and  such  a  little  would  have 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  41 

gone  so  far  with  them  !  I  have  often  felt  the  bitterness  of 
poverty,  but  never  I  do  think  as  when  I  parted  with  my  poor 
niggers  at  the  edge  of  the  wood,  and  was  forced  to  see  them 
go  slowly  home  without  a  farthing. 

I  wish  these  few  words  could  travel  across  the  water,  and 
my  good  host  might  read  them,  and  see  I  have  not  for- 
gotten him  all  these  years.  But,  dear  heart !  you  may  be 
sure  he  is  not  upon  the  earth  now.  It  is  years  ago,  and  a 
man  that  had  the  heart  to  harbor  a  stranger  and  a  wanderer, 
why,  he  would  be  one  of  the  first  to  go. 

We  steamed  and  tramped  up  and  down  the  United  States 
of  America.  On  our  return  to  Norfolk  she  broke  loose  at 
midnight,  slipped  into  the  town,  took  up  the  trees  on  the 
Boulevard,  and  strewed  them  flat,  went  into  the  market, 
broke  into  a  vegetable  shop,  munched  the  entire  stock,  next 
to  a  coachmaker's,  took  off  a  carriage-wheel,  opened  the 
door,  stripped  the  cushions,  and  we  found  her  eating  the 
stuffing. 

One  day  at  noon  we  found  ourselves  fourteen  miles  from 
the  town,  I  forget  its  name,  we  had  to  play  in  that  very  night. 

Mr.  Gallott  had  gone  on  to  rehearse,  etc.,  and  it  behooved 
us  to  be  marching  after  him.  At  this  juncture,  old  Tom, 
being  rather  drunk,  feels  a  strong  desire  to  be  quite  drunk, 
and  refuses  to  stir  from  his  brandy  and  water.  Our  exchequer 
was  in  no  condition  to  be  trifled  with  thus:  if  Elliott  &  Co. 
became  helpless  for  an  hour  or  two,  we  should  arrive  too 
late  for  the  night's  performance,  and  Djek  eating  her  head 
off  all  the  while.  I  coaxed  and  threatened  our  two  brandy 
sponges,  but  in  vain;  they  stuck  and  sucked.  I  was  in  de- 


42  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

spair,  and  being  in  despair,  came  to  a  desperate  resolution: 
I  determined  to  try  and  master  her  myself  then  and  there, 
and  to  defy  these  drunkards. 

I  told  Pippin  my  project.  He  started  back  aghast.  He 
viewed  me  in  the  light  of  a  madman.  "Are  you  tired  of 
your  life?"  said  he.  But  I  was  inflexible.  Seven  Dials 
pluck  was  up.  I  was  enraged  with  my  drunkards,  and  I  was 
tired  of  waiting  so  many  years  the  slave  of  a  quadruped 
whose  master  was  a  brute. 

White  Elephants  are  driven  with  a  rod  of  steel  sharpened 
at  the  end;  about  a  foot  from  the  end  of  this  weapon  is  a 
large  hook;  by  sticking  this  hook  into  an  elephant's  ear,  and 
pulling  it,  you  make  her  sensible  which  way  you  want  her  to 
go,  and  persuade  her  to  comply. 

Armed  with  this  tool,  I  walked  up  to  Djek's  shed,  and,  in 
the  most  harsh  and  brutal  voice  I  could  command,  bade  her 
come  out.  She  moved  in  the  shed,  but  hesitated.  I  re- 
peated the  command  still  more  repulsively,  and  out  she  came 
toward  me  very  slowly. 

With  beasts  such  as  lions,  tigers  and  elephants,  great 
promptitude  is  the  thing.  Think  for  them!  don't  give  them 
time  to  think,  or  their  thoughts  may  be  evil.  I  had  learned 
this  much,  so  I  introduced  myself  by  driving  the  steel  into 
Djek's  ribs,  and  then  hooking  her  ear,  while  Pippin  looked 
down  from  a  first-story  window.  If  Djek  had  known  how 
my  heart  was  beating  she  would  have  killed  me  then  and 
there;  but,  observing  no  hesitation  on  my  part,  she  took  it 
all  as  a  matter  of  course,  and  walked  with  me  like  a  lamb. 
I  found  myself  alone  with  her  on  the  road,  and  fourteen 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  43 

miles  of  it  before  us.  It  was  a  serious  situation,  but  I  was 
ripe  for  it  now.  All  the  old  women's  stories  and  traditions 
about  an  elephant's  character  had  been  driven  out  of  me  by 
experience  and  washed  out  with  blood.  I  had  fathomed 
Elliot's  art.  I  had  got  what  the  French  call  the  riddle-key 
of  Mademoiselle  Djek,  and  that  key  was  "steel ! " 

On  we  marched,  the  best  of  friends.  There  were  a  num- 
ber of  little  hills  on  the  road,  and  as  we  mounted  one,  a 
figure  used  to  appear  behind  us  on  the  crest  of  the  last 
between  us  and  the  sky;  this  was  the  gallant  Pippin,  solici- 
tous for  his  friend's  fate,  but  desirous  of  not  partaking  it  if 
adverse.  And  still  the  worthy  Djek  and  I  marched  on  the 
best  of  friends.  About  a  mile  out  of  the  town,  she  put  out 
her  trunk  and  tried  to  curl  it  round  me  in  a  caressing  way. 
I  met  this  overture  by  driving  the  steel  into  her  till  the 
blood  squirted  out  of  her.  If  I  had  not,  the  siren  would 
have  killed  me  in  the  course  of  the  next  five  minutes. 
Whenever  she  relaxed  her  speed  I  drove  the  steel  into  her. 
When  the  afternoon  sun  smiled  gloriously  on  us,  and  the 
poor  thing  felt  nature  stir  in  her  heart,  and  began  to  frisk 
in  her  awful  clumsy  way,  pounding  the  great  globe,  I  drove 
the  steel  into  her;  if  I  had  not,  I  should  not  be  here  to 
relate  this  sprightly  narrative. 

Meantime,  at ,  her  stage  manager  and  financier  were 

in  great  distress  and  anxiety;  four  o'clock,  and  no  White 
Elephant.  At  last  they  got  so  frightened,  they  came  out  to 
meet  us,  and  presently,  to  their  amazement  and  delight, 
Djek  strode  up  with  her  new  general.  Their  ecstasy  was 
great  to  think  that  the  whole  business  was  no  longer  at  a 


44  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

drunkard's  mercy.  "  But  how  did  you  manage  ?  How  ever 
did  ye  win  her  heart? "  "  With  this,"  said  I,  and  showed  them 
the  bloody  steel. 

We  had  not  been  in  the  town  half  an  hour  before  Tom 
and  George  came  in.  They  were  not  so  drunk  but  what 
they  trembled  for  their  situations  after  my  exploit,  and  rolled 
and  zigzagged  after  us  as  fast  as  they  could. 

By  these  means  I  rose  from  Mademoiselle's  slave  to  be 
her  friend  and  companion.  . 


CHAPTER  V. 

THIS  feat  kept  my  two  drunkards  in  better  order,  and  re- 
vived my  own  dormant  ambition.  I  used  now  to  visit  her 
by  myself,  steel  in  hand,  to  feed  her,  etc.,  and  scrape  ac- 
quaintance with  her  by  every  means, — steel  in  hand.  One 
day  I  was  feeding  her,  when  suddenly  I  thought  a  house  had 
fallen  on  me.  I  felt  myself  crashing  against  the  door,  and 
there  I  was  lying  upon  it  in  the  passage  with  all  the  breath 
driven  clean  out  of  my  body.  Pippin  came  and  lifted  me 
up  and  carried  me  into  the  air.  I  thought  I  should  have 
died  before  breath  could  get  into  my  lungs  again.  She 
had  done  this  with  a  push  from  the  thick  end  of  her  pro- 
boscis. After  a  while  I  came  to.  I  had  no  sooner  recovered 
my  breath  than  I  ran  into  the  stable,  and  came  back  with  a 
pitchfork.  Pippin  saw  my  intention  and  implored  me,  for 
heaven's  sake,  not  to.  I  would  not  listen  to  him;  he  flung 
his  arms  round  me.  I  threatened  to  turn  the  fork  on  him  if 
he  did  not  let  me  go. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  45 

"Hark!"  said  he;  and  sure  enough,  there  she  was  snort- 
ing and  getting  up  her  rage.  "I  know  all  about  that,"  said 
I;  my  death-warrant  is  drawn  up,  and  if  I  don't  strike  it  will 
be  signed.  This  is  how  she  has  felt  her  way  with  all  of 
them  before  she  has  killed  them.  I  have  but  one  chance  of 
life,"  said  I,  "and  I  won't  throw  it  away  without  a  struggle." 
I  opened  the  door,  and,  with  a  mind  full  of  misgivings,  I 
walked  quickly  up  to  her.  I  did  not  hesitate  to  raise  the 
question  which  of  us  two  was  to  suffer,  I  knew  that  would 
not  do.  I  sprang  upon  her  like  a  tiger,  and  drove  the  pitch- 
fork into  her  trunk.  She  gave  a  yell  of  dismay  and  turned 
a  little  from  me;  I  drove  the  fork  into  her  ear. 

Then  came  out  her  real  character. 

She  wheeled  round,  ran  her  head  into  a  corner,  stuck  out 
her  great  buttocks,  and  trembled  all  over  like  a  leaf.  I 
stabbed  her  with  all  my  force  for  half  an  hour  till  the  blood 
poured  out  of  every  square  foot  of  her  huge  body,  and, 
during  the  operation,  she  would  have  crept  into  a  nutshell 
if  she  could.  I  filled  her  as  full  of  holes  as  a  cloved 
orange. 

The  blood  that  trickled  out  of  her  saved  mine;  and,  for 
the  first  time,  I  walked  out  of  her  shambles  her  master. 

One  year  and  six  months  after  we  had  landed  at  New  York 
to  conquer  another  hemisphere,  we  turned  tail  and  sailed  for 
England  again.  We  had  a  prosperous  voyage,  with  the  ex- 
ception of  one  accident.  George  Hinde,  from  incessant 
brandy,  had  delirium  tremens,  and  one  night,  in  a  fit  of  it, 
he  had  just  sense  enough  to  see  that  he  was  hardly  to  be 
trusted  with  the  care  of  himself.  "John,"  said  he  to  me, 


46  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

"tie  me  to  this  mast  hand  and  foot."  I  demurred;  but  he 
begged  me  for  heaven's  sake,  so  I  bound  him  hand  and  foot 
as  per  order.  This  done,  some  one  called  me  down  below, 
and  while  I  was  there  it  seems  George  got  very  uncomfort- 
able, and  began  to  halloo  and  complain.  Up  comes  the 
captain, — sees  a  man  lashed  to  the  mast.  "  What  game  is 
this?"  says  he.  "It  is  that  little  blackguard  John,"  says 
Hinde;  "he  caught  me  sleeping  against  the  mast,  and  took 
a  mean  advantage;  do  loose  me,  captain!"  The  captain 
made  sure  it  was  a  sea-jest,  and  loosed  him  with  his  own 
hands.  "Thank  you,  captain,"  says  George,  "you  are  a 
good  fellow.  God  bless  you  all!"  and  with  these  words  he 
ran  aft  and  jumped  into  the  sea.  A  Yankee  sailor  made  a 
grab  at  him  and  just  touched  his  coat,  but  it  was  too  late 
to  save  him,  and  we  were  going  before  the  wind  ten  knots  an 
hour.  Thus  George  Hinde  fell  by  brandy;  his  kindred 
spirit,  old  Tom,  seemed  ready  to  follow,  without  the  help  of 
water,  salt  or  fresh.  This  man's  face  was  now  a  uniform 
color,  white,  with  a  scarce  perceptible  bluish-yellowish  tinge. 
He  was  a  moving  corpse. 

Drink  forever!  it  makes  men  thieves,  murderers,  asses 
and  paupers;  but  what  about  that?  so  long  as  it  sends  them 
to  an  early  grave  with  "beast"  for  their  friends  to  write  over 
their  tombstones,  unless  they  have  a  mind  to  tell  lies  in  a 
churchyard,  and  that  is  a  common  trick. 

We  arrived  at  the  mouth  of  the  Thames. 

Some  boats  boarded  us  with  fresh  provisions  and  deli- 
cacies; among  the  rest,  one  I  had  not  tasted  for  many  a 
day:  it  is  called  soft-tommy  at  sea,  and  on  land,  bread. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  47 

The  merchant  stood  on  tiptoe  and  handed  a  loaf  toward  me, 
and  I  leaned  over  the  bulwarks  and  stretched  down  to  him 
with  a  shilling  in  my  hand.  But  as  ill  luck  would  have  it, 
the  shilling  slipped  from  my  ringers  and  fell.  If  it  had  been 
some  men's  it  would  have  fallen  into  the  boat,  others'  into 
the  sea,  slap;  but  it  was  mine,  and  so  it  fell  on  the  boat's 
very  rim,  and  then  danced  to  its  own  music  into  the  water. 
I  looked  after  it  in  silence;  a  young  lady  with  whom  I  had 
made  some  little  acquaintance  during  the  voyage  happened 
to  be  at  my  elbow,  and  she  laughed  most  merrily  as  the  shil- 
ling went  down.  I  remember  being  astonished  that  she 
laughed.  The  man  still  held  out  the  bread,  but  I  shook  my 
head.  "I  must  go  without  now,"  said  I;  the  young  lady 
was  quite  surprised.  "Why,  it  is  worth  a  guinea,"  cried  she. 
"Yes,  miss,"  said  I,  sheepishly,  "but  we  can't  always  have 
what  we  like,  you  see;  I  ought  to  have  held  my  shilling 
tighter." 

"Your  shilling,"  cries  she.  "Oh!"  and  she  dashed  her 
hand  into  her  pocket  and  took  out  her  purse,  and  I  could 
see  her  beautiful  white  fingers  tremble  with  eagerness  as 
they  dived  among  the  coin.  She  soon  bought  the  loaf,  and, 
as  she  handed  it  to  me,  I  happened  to  look  in  her  face,  and 
her  cheek  was  red  and  her  eyes  quite  brimming.  Her  quick 
woman's  heart  had  told  her  the  truth,  that  it  was  a  well- 
dressed  and  tolerably  well-behaved  man's  last  shilling,  and 
he  returning  after  years  of  travel  to  his  native  land. 

I  am  sure  until  the  young  lady  felt  for  me,  I  thought 
nothing  of  it;  I  had  been  at  my  last  shilling  more  than  once. 
But  when  I  saw  she  thought  it  hard,  I  began  to  think  it  was 


48  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

hard,  and  I  remember  the  water  came  into  my  own  eyes. 
Heaven  bless  her,  and  may  she  never  want  a  shilling  in  her 
pocket,  nor  a  kind  heart  near  her  to  show  her  the  world  is 
not  all  made  of  stone. 

We  had  no  money  to  pay  our  passage,  and  we  found  Mr. 
Yates  somewhat  embarrassed.  We  had  cost  him  a  thousand 
or  two,  and  no  return;  so,  while  he  wrote  to  Mons.  Huguet, 
that  came  to  pass  in  England  which  we  had  always  just  con- 
trived to  stave  off  abroad. 

The  White  Elephant  was  pawned. 

And  now  I  became  of  use  to  the  proprietors.  I  arranged 
with  the  mortgagees,  and  they  made  the  spout  a  show-place. 
I  used  to  exhibit  her  and  her  tricks,  and  with  the  proceeds  I 
fed  her  and  Elliot  and  myself. 

We  had  been  three  weeks  in  pledge,  when,  one  fine  morn- 
ing, as  I  was  showing  off,  seated  on  the  elephant's  back,  I 
heard  a  French  exclamation  of  surprise  and  joy;  I  looked 
down,  and  there  was  M.  Huguet.  I  came  down  to  him,  and 
he,  whose  quick  eye  saw  a  way  through  me  out  of  drunken 
Elliot,  gave  loose  to  his  feelings,  and  embraced  me  a  la 
Franfaise,  "which  made  the  common  people  very  much  to 
admire,"  as  the  song  has  it;  also  a  polite  howl  of  derision 
greeted  our  Continental  affection.  M.  Huguet  put  is  hand 
into  his  pocket,  and  we  got  out  of  limbo,  and  were  let  loose 
upon  suffering  humanity  once  more. 

They  talk  as  if  English  gold  did  everything;  but  it  was 
French  gold  bought  us  off,  I  know  that,  for  I  saw  it  come 
out  of  his  pocket. 

As  soon  as  we  were  redeemed,  we  took  an  engagement  at 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  49 

Astley's,  and,  during  this  engagement,  cadaverous  Tom, 
finding  we  could  master  her,  used  to  attend  less  and  less  to 
her  and  more  and  more  to  brandy. 

A  certain  baker,  who  brought  her  loaves  every  morning 
for  breakfast,  used  to  ask  me  to  let  him  feed  her  himself. 
He  admired  her,  and  took  this  way  of  making  her  fond  of 
him.  One  day  I  had  left  these  two  friends  and  their  loaves 
together  for  a  minute,  when  I  heard  a  fearful  cry.  I  knew 
the  sound  too  well  by  this  time,  and,  as  I  ran  back,  I  had 
the  sense  to  halloo  at  her:  this  saved  the  man's  life.  At  the 
sound  of  my  voice  she  dropped  him  from  a  height  of  about 
twelve  feet,  and  he  rolled  away  like  a  ball  of  worsted.  I  dashed 
in,  up  with  the  pitchfork,  and  into  her  like  lightning,  and,  while 
the  blood  was  squirting  out  of  her  from  a  hundred  little 
prong-holes,  the  poor  baker  limped  away. 

Any  gentleman  or  lady  who  wishes  to  know  how  a  man 
feels  when  seized  by  a  White  Elephant,  preparatory  to  being 
squelched,  can  consult  this  person;  he  is  a  respectable 
tradesman;  his  name  is  Johns;  he  lives  near  Astley's 
Theatre,  or  used  to,  and  for  obvious  reasons  can  tell  you 
this  one  anecdote  out  of  many  such  better  than  I  can;  that 
is  if  he  has  not  forgotten  it,  and  /  dare  say  he  hasn't — ask 
him! 

After  Astley's,  Drury  Lane  engaged  us  to  play  second  to 
the  Lions  of  Mysore;  rather  a  down-come;  but  we  went.  In 
this  theatre  we  behaved  wonderfully.  Notwithstanding  the 
number  of  people  continually  buzzing  about  us,  we  kept  our 
temper,  and  did  not  smash  a  single  one  of  these  human 
gnats,  so  trying  to  our  little  female  irritability  and  feeble 


5o  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

nerves.  The  only  thing  we  did  wrong  was,  we  broke  through 
a  granite  mountain  and  fell  down  on  to  the  plains,  and  hurt 
our  knees,  and  broke  one  super, — only  one. 

The  Lions  of  Mysore  went  a  starring  to  Liverpool,  and 
we  accompanied  them.  While  we  were  there  the  cholera 
broke  out  in  England,  and  M.  Huguet  summoned  us  hastily 
to  France.  We  brushed  our  hats,  put  on  our  gloves,  and 
walked  at  one  stretch  from  Liverpool  to  Dover.  There  we 
embarked  for  Boulogne:  Djek,  cadaverous  Tom,  wolf-skin- 
lamb  Pippin,  and  myself.  I  was  now  in  Huguet's  service 
at  fifty  francs  a  week  as  coadjutor  and  successor  of  cadaver- 
ous Tom,  whose  demise  was  hourly  expected  even  by  us 
who  were  hardened  by  use  to  his  appearance,  which  was 
that  of  the  ghost  of  delirium  tremens.  We  arrived  off 
Boulogne  Pier;  but  there  we  were  boarded  by  men  in  uniforms 
and  mustaches,  and  questions  put  about  the  cholera,  which 
disease  the  civic  authorities  of  Boulogne  were  determined  to 
keep  on  the  other  side  of  the  Channel.  The  captain's  an- 
swer proving  satisfactory,  we  were  allowed  to  run  into  the 
port. 

In  landing  anywhere  Djek  and  her  attendants  had  always 
to  wait  till  the  other  passengers  had  got  clear,  and  we  did  so 
on  this  occasion.  At  length  our  turn  came;  but  we  had  no 
sooner  crossed  the  gangway  and  touched  French  ground 
than  a  movement  took  place  on  the  quay,  and  a  lot  of  bayo- 
nets bristled  in  our  faces,  and  "  Halte  la  ! "  was  the  word. 
We  begged  an  explanation;  in  answer,  an  officer  glared  with 
eyes  like  saucers,  and  pointed  with  his  finger  at  Elliott.  The 
truth  flashed  on  us.  The  Frenchmen  were  afraid  of  cholera 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  51 

coming  over  from  England,  and  here  was  a  man  who  looked 
plague,  cholera,  or  death  himself  in  person.  We  remon- 
strated through  an  interpreter,  but  Tom's  face  was  not  to  be 
refuted  by  words.  Some  were  for  sending  us  back  home  to  so 
diseased  a  country  as  this  article  must  have  come  out  of;  but 
milder  measures  prevailed.  They  set  apart  for  our  use  a 
little  corner  of  the  quay,  and  there  they  roped  us  in  and  senti- 
nelled us.  And  so  for  four  days,  in  the  polished  kingdom  of 
France,  we  dwelt  in  a  hut  ruder  far  than  any  on  the 
banks  of  the  Ohio.  Drink  forever!  At  last,  as  Tom  Coffin 
got  neither  a  worse  nor  a  better  color,  they  listened  to  reason, 
and  let  us  loose  upon  the  nation  at  large,  and  away  we  tramped 
for  Paris. 

Times  were  changed  with  us  in  one  respect:  we  no  longer 
marched  to  certain  victory;  our  long  ill-success  in  America 
had  lessened  our  arrogance,  and  we  crept  along  toward  Paris. 
But,  luckily  for  us,  we  had  now  a  presiding  head,  and  a  good 
one.  The  soul  of  business  is  puffing,  and  no  man  puffed 
better  than  our  chief,  M.  Huguet.  Half-way  between  Bou- 
logne and  Paris  we  were  met  by  a  cavalier  carrying  our  in- 
structions how  we  were  to  enter  Paris;  and,  arrived  at  St. 
Denis,  instead  of  going  straight  on,  we  skirted  the  town,  and 
made  our  formal  entry  by  the  Bois  de  Boulogne  and  the 
Arch  of  Triumph.  Huguet  had  come  to  terms  with  Fran- 
coni,  and,  to  give  Djek's  engagement  more  importance,  Fran- 
coni's  whole  troop  were  ordered  out  to  meet  us  and  escort  us 
in.  They  paraded  up  and  down  the  Champs  Elysees  first, 
to  excite  attention  and  inquiry,  and  when  the  public  were 
fairly  agog  our  cavalcade  formed  outside  the  barrier,  and 


52  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

came  glittering  and  prancing  through  the  arch.  A  White 
Elephant  has  her  ups  and  downs  like  the  rest.  Djek,  the  de- 
spised of  Kentucky  and  Virginia,  burst  on  Paris  the  centre 
of  a  shining  throng.  Franconi's  bright  amazons  and  exquisite 
cavaliers  rode  to  and  fro  our  line,  carrying  sham  messages 
with  earnest  faces;  Djek  was  bedecked  with  ribbons,  and 
seemed  to  tread  more  majestically,  and  our  own  hearts  beat 
higher,  as  amid  grace,  and  beauty,  and  pomp,  sun  shining — 
hats  waving — feathers  bending — mob  cheering — trumpets 
crowing — and  flints  striking  fire,  we  strode  proudly  into  the 
great  city,  the  capital  of  pleasure. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THESE  were  bright  days  to  me.  I  was  set  over  old  Tom, — 
fancy  that;  and  my  salary  doubled  his.  I  had  fifty  francs  a 
week,  and  cleared  as  much  more  by  showing  her  privately  in 
her  stable. 

Money  melts  in  London, — it  evaporates  in  Paris.  Pippin 
was  a  great  favorite  both  with  men  and  women  behind  the 
scenes  at  Franconi's.  He  introduced  me  to  charming  com- 
panions of  both  sexes;  gayety  reigned,  and  tin  and  morals 
"made  themselves  air,  into  which  they  vanished."  Shake- 
speare. 

Toward  the  close  of  her  engagement  Djek  made  one  of  her 
mistakes;  she  up  with  her  rightful  heir  and  broke  his  ribs 
against  the  side  scenes.  We  nearly  had  to  stop  her  perform- 
ances; we  could  not  mend  our  rightful  heir  by  next  night,  and 
substitutes  did  not  pour  in.  "I  won't  go  on  with  her,"  "I 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  53 

won't  play  with  her,"  was  the  cry  that  even  the  humblest  and 
neediest  began  to  raise.  I  am  happy  to  say  that  she  was  not 
under  my  superintendence  when  this  rightful  heir  came  to 
grief. 

And  now  the  cholera  came  to  Paris,  and  theatricals  of  all 
sorts  declined,  for  there  was  a  real  tragedy  playing  in  every 
street.  The  deaths  were  very  numerous,  and  awfully  sudden; 
people  were  struck  down  in  the  streets  as  if  by  lightning; 
gloom  and  terror  hung  over  all. 

When  this  terrible  disease  is  better  known  it  will  be  found 
to  be  of  the  nature  of  strong  poison,  and  its  cure,  if  any,  will 
be  strychnine,  belladonna,  or,  likelier  still,  some  quick  and 
deadly  mineral  poison  that  kills  the  healthy  with  cramps  and 
discoloration. 

In  its  rapid  form  cholera  is  not  to  be  told  from  quick  poi- 
son, and  hence  sprung  up  among  the  lower  order  in  Paris  a 
notion  that  wholesale  poisoning  was  on  foot. 

Pippin  and  I  were  standing  at  the  door  of  a  wine-shop, 
waiting  for  our  change.  His  wild  appearance  attracted  first 
one  and  then  another.  Little  knots  of  people  collected  and 
eyed  us;  then  they  began  to  talk  and  murmur,  and  cast 
suspicious  glances.  "Come  away,"  said  Pippin,  rather 
hastily.  We  walked  off;  they  walked  after  us,  increasing 
like  a  snow-ball,  and  they  murmured  louder  and  louder. 
I  asked  Pippin  what  the  fools  were  gabbling  about.  He 
told  me  they  suspected  us  of  being  the  poisoners. 

At  this  I  turned  round,  and  being  five  foot  four,  and  Eng- 
lish, was  for  punching  some  of  their  heads;  but  the  athletic, 
pacific  Italian  would  not  hear  of  it,  much  less  co-operate; 


54  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

and  now  they  surrounded  us  just  at  the  corner  of  one  of  the 
bridges,  lashing  themselves  into  a  fury,  and  looking  first  at 
us,  and  then  at  the  river  below.  Pippin  was  as  white  as 
death,  and  I  thought  it  was  all  up  myself,  when  by  good  luck 
a  troop  of  mounted  gendarmes  issued  from  the  palace.  Pip- 
pin hailed  them;  they  came  up,  and,  after  hearing  both  sides, 
took  us  under  their  protection,  and  off  we  marched  between 
two  files  of  cavalry,  followed  by  the  curses  of  a  superficial 
populace.  Extremes  don't  do.  Pippin  was  the  color  of  ink, 
Elliot  of  paper;  both  their  mugs  fell  under  suspicion,  and 
nearly  brought  us  to  grief. 

Franconi  closed,  and,  Djek,  Huguet  and  Co.  started  on  a 
provincial  tour. 

They  associated  themselves  on  this  occasion  with  Michelet 
who  had  some  small  wild  animals  such  as  lions,  tigers,  and 
leopards. 

Our  first  move  was  to  Versailles.  Here  we  built  a  show- 
place  and  exhibited  Djek,  not  as  an  actress,  but  as  a  private 
White  Elephant  from  Siam  in  which  capacity  she  did  the 
usual  business,  besides  a  trick  or  two  that  most  them  have  not 
brains  enough  for,  whereof  anon. 

Michelet  was  the  predecessor  of  Van  Amburgh  and  Car- 
ter, and  did  everything  they  do  a  dozen  years  before  they 
were  ever  heard  of;  used  to  go  into  the  lions'  den,  pull  them 
about,  and  put  his  head  down  their  throats,  and  their  paws 
round  his  neck,  etc.,  etc. 

I  observed  this  man,  and  learned  something  from  him. 
Besides  that  general  quickness  and  decision  which  is  neces- 
sary with  wild  animals,  I  noticed  that  he  was  always  on  the 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  55 

lookout  for  mischief,  and  always  punished  it  before  it  came. 
Another  point,  he  always  attacked  the  offending  part,  and  so 
met  the  evil  in  front;  for  instance,  if  one  of  his  darlings  curled 
a  lip  and  showed  a  tooth,  he  hit  him  over  the  mouth  that 
moment  and  nowhere  else;  if  one  elongated  a  claw,  he  hit  him 
over  the  foot  like  lightning.  He  read  the  whole  crew  as  I 
had  learned  to  read  Djek,  and  conquered  their  malice  by 
means  of  that  marvellous  cowardice  which  they  all  show  if 
they  can  see  no  signs  of  it  in  you. 

There  are  no  two  ways  with  wild  beasts.  If  there  is  a  single 
white  spot  in  your  heart,  leave  them,  for  your  life  will  be  in 
danger  every  moment.  If  you  can  despise  them,  and  keep  the 
rod  always  in  sight,  they  are  your  humble  servants;  nobody 
more  so. 

Our  exhibition,  successful  at  first,  began  to  flag;  so  that 
the  fertile  brain  of  M.  Huguet  had  to  work.  He  proposed 
to  his  partner  to  stand  a  tiger,  and  he  would  stand  a  bull, 
and  "we  will  have  a  joint-stock  fight  like  the  King  of  Oude." 
Michelet  had  his  misgivings,  but  Huguet  overruled  him. 
That  ingenious  gentleman  then  printed  bills  advertising  for 
a  certain  day  a  fight  between  a  real  Bengal  tiger  and  a  fero- 
cious bull  that  had  just  gored  a  man  to  death.  This  done, 
he  sent  me  round  the  villages  to  find  and  hire  a  bull. 
"  Mind  you  get  a  mild  one,  or  I  shall  have  to  pay  for  a  hole 
in  the  tiger's  leather."  I  found  one  which  the  owner  con- 
sented to  risk  for  so  much  money  down,  and  the  damage  he 
should  sustain  from  tiger  to  be  valued  independently  by 
two  farmers  after  the  battle. 

The  morning  of  the  fight  Pippin  and  I  went  for  our  bull, 


56  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

and  took  him  out  of  the  yard  towards  Versailles;  but  when 
we  had  gone  about  hundred  yards,  he  became  uneasy,  looked 
round,  sniffed  about,  and  finally  turned  round  spite  of  all  our 
efforts,  and  paced  home  again.  We  remonstrated  with  the 
proprietor.  "  O,"  said  he,  "  I  forgot;  he  won't  start  without 
the  wench."  So  the  wench  in  question  was  sent  for  (his 
companion  upon  amatory  excursions).  She  went  with  us, 
and  launched  us  toward  Versailles.  This  done,  she  returned 
home,  and  we  marched  on;  but  before  we  had  gone  a  fur- 
long Taurus  showed  symptoms  of  uneasiness;  these  in- 
creased, and  at  last  he  turned  round  and  walked  tranquilly 
home.  We  hung  upon  him,  thrashed  him,  and  bullied  him, 
all  to  no  purpose.  His  countenance  was  placid,  but  his  soul 
resolved,  and — he  walked  home,  slowly  but  inevitably;  so 
then,  there  was  nothing  for  it  but  to  let  him  have  the  wench 
all  the  way  to  the  tiger,  and  she  would  not  go  to  Versailles 
till  she  had  put  on  some  new  finery, — short  waist,  coal- 
scuttle bonnet,  etc.  Mort  time  lost  with  that;  and,  when  we 
did  arrive  in  the  arena,  the  spectators  were  tired  of  waiting. 
The  bull  stood  in  the  middle,  confused  and  stupid.  The 
tiger  was  in  his  cage  in  a  corner;  we  gave  him  time  to  ob- 
serve his  prey,  and  then  we  opened  the  door  of  his  cage. 

A  shiver  ran  through  the  audience  (they  were  all  seated 
in  boxes  looking  down  on  the  arena). 

A  moment  more,  and  the  furious.animal  would  spring  upon 
his  victim,  and  his  fangs  and  claws  sink  deep  into  its  neck, 
etc.,  etc.  Vide  books  of  travels. 

One  moment  succeded  to  another,  and  nothing  occurred. 
The  ferocious  animal  lay  quiet  in  his  cage,  and  showed  no 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  57 

sign;  so  then  we  poked  the  ferocious  animal.  He  snarled, 
but  would  not  venture  out.  When  this  had  lasted  a  long 
time,  the  spectators  began  to  doubt  its  ferocity,  and  to  goose 
the  ferocious  animal.  So  I  got  a  red-hot  iron  and  nagged 
him  behind.  He  gave  a  yell  of  dismay,  and  went  into  the 
arena  like  a  shot.  He  took  no  notice  of  the  bull.  All  he 
thought  of  was  escape  from  the  horrors  that  surrounded 
him.  Winged  by  terror,  he  gave  a  tremendous  spring,  and 
landed  his  fore-paws  on  the  boxes,  stuck  fast,  and  glared  in 
at  the  spectators.  They  rushed  out  yelling.  He  dug  his 
hind-claws  into  the  wood-work,  and  by  slow  and  painful  de- 
grees clambered  into  the  boxes.  When  he  got  in,  the  young 
and  active  were  gone  home,  and  he  ran  down  the  stairs 
among  the  old  people  that  could  not  get  clear  so  quick  as 
the  rest.  He  was  so  frightened  at  the  people  that  he 
skulked  and  hid  himself  in  a  cornfield,  and  the  people  were 
so  frightened  at  him  that  they  ran  home  and  locked  their 
street  doors.  So  one  coward  made  many. 

They  thought  the  poor  wretch  had  attacked  them,  and  the 
journal  next  day  maintained  this  view  of  the  transaction, 
and  the  town  to  this  day  believes  it.  We  netted  our  striped 
coward  with  four  shutters,  and  kicked  him  into  his  cage. 

The  bull  went  home  with  "the  wench,"  and  to  this  day 
his  thick  skull  has  never  comprehended  what  the  deuce  he 
went  to  Versailles  for. 

This  is  how  we  competed  with  Oriental  monarchs. 

We  marched  southward,  through  Orleans,  Tours,  etc.,  to 
Bordeaux,  and  were  pretty  well  received  in  all  these  places 
except  at  one  small  place  whose  name  I  forget.  Here  they 


58  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

hissed  her  out  of  the  town  at  sight.  It  turned  out  she  had  been 
there  before  and  pulverized  a  brushmaker,  a  popular  man 
among  them. 

Soon  after  Bordeaux  she  had  words  with  the  lions.  They, 
in  their  infernal  conceit,  thought  themselves  more  attractive 
than  Djek.  It  is  vice  versa,  and  by  a  long  chalk,  said  Djek 
and  Co.  The  parties  growled  a  bit,  then  parted  to  meet  no 
more  in  this  world. 

From  Bordeaux  we  returned  by  another  route  to  Paris; 
for  we  were  only  starring  it  in  the  interval  of  our  engage- 
ment as  an  actress  with  Franconi.  We  started  one  morning 

from with  light  hearts,  our  faces  turned  toward  the  gay 

city — Elliot,  Pippin,  and  I.  Elliot  and  I  walked  by  the  side 
of  the  White  Elephant,  Pippin  walking  some  forty  yards  in 
the  rear.  He  never  trusted  himself  nearer  to  her  on  a 
march. 

We  were  plodding  along  in  this  order,  when,  all  in  a 
moment,  without  reason  or  warning  of  any  sort,  she  spun 
round  between  us  on  one  heel  like  a  thing  turning  on  a 
pivot,  and  strode  back  like  lightning  at  Pippin.  He  screamed 
and  ran;  but,  before  he  could  take  a  dozen  steps,  she  was 
upon  him,  and  struck  him  down  with  her  trunk  and  trampled 
upon  him;  she  then  wheeled  round  and  trudged  back  as  if 
she  had  merely  stopped  to  brush  off  a  fly  or  pick  up  a  stone. 
After  the  first  moment  of  stupefaction,  both  Elliot  and  I  had 
run  after  her  with  all  the  speed  we  had;  but  so  rapid  was 
her  movement,  and  so  instantaneous  the  work  of  death,  that 
we  only  met  her  on  her  return  from  her  victim.  I  will  not 
shock  the  readers  by  describing  the  state  in  which  we  found 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  59 

our  poor  comrade;  but  he  was  crushed  to  death.  He  never 
spoke,  and  I  believe  and  trust  he  never  felt  anything  for  the 
few  minutes  that  breath  lingered  in  his  body.  We  kneeled 
down  and  raised  him,  and  spoke  to  him,  but  he  could  not 
hear  us.  When  Djek  got  her  will  of  one  of  us,  all  our  hope 
used  to  be  to  see  the  man  die;  and  so  it  was  with  poor  dear 
Pippin;  mangled,  and  life  impossible,  we  kneeled  down  and 
prayed  to  God  for  his  death;  and,  by  Heaven's  mercy,  I 
think  in  about  four  minutes  from  the  time  he  got  his  death- 
blow his  spirit  passed  away,  and  our  well-beloved  comrade 
and  friend  was  nothing  now  but  a  lump  of  clay  on  our 
hands. 

We  were  some  miles  from  any  town  or  village,  and  did 
not  know  what  to  do,  and  how  to  take  him  to  a  resting- 
place.  At  last  we  were  obliged  to  tie  the  body  across  the 
proboscis,  and  cover  it  as  well  as  we  could,  and  so  we  made 
his  murderess  carry  him  to  the  little  town  of  La  Palice, — 
yes,  La  Palice.  Here  we  stopped,  and  a  sort  of  inquest  was 
held,  and  M.  Huguet  attended  and  told  the  old  story:  said  the 
man  had  been  cruel  to  her,  and  she  had  put  up  with  it  as 
long  as  she  could.  Verdict:  "Served  him  right;"  and  so 
we  lied  over  our  poor  friend's  murdered  body,  and  buried 
him  with  many  sighs  in  the  little  churchyard  of  La  Palice, 
and  then  trudged  on,  sad  and  downcast,  toward  the  gay 
capital. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

I  THINK  a  lesson  is  to  be  learned  from  this  sad  story. 
Too  much  fear  is  not  prudence.     Had  poor  Pippin  walked 


60  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

with  Elliot  and  me  alongside  the  elephant,  she  dared  not 
have  attacked  him.  But  through  fear  he  kept  forty  yards  in 
the  rear,  and  she  saw  a  chance  to  get  him  by  himself;  and, 
from  my  knowledge  of  her,  I  have  little  doubt  she  had 
meditated  this  attempt  for  months  before  she  carried  it  out. 
Poor  Pippin! 

We  arrived  in  Paris  to  play  with  Franconi.  Now  it  hap- 
pened to  be  inconvenient  to  Franconi  to  fulfill  his  engage- 
ment. He  accordingly  declined  us.  M.  Huguet  was  angry, 
— threatened  legal  proceedings.  Franconi  answered,  "  Where 
is  Pippin?"  Huguet  shut  up.  Then  Franconi  followed 
suit;  if  hard  pressed,  he  threatened  to  declare  in  open  court 
that  it  was  out  of  humanity  alone  he  declined  to  fulfill  his 
engagement.  This  stopped  M.  Huguet's  mouth  altogether. 
He  took  a  place  on  the  Boulevard,  and  we  showed  her  and 
her  tricks  at  three  prices,  and  did  a  rattling  business.  Before 
we  had  been  a  fortnight  in  Paris,  old  Tom  Elliot  died  at  the 
Hotel  Dubois,  and  I  became  her  vizier  at  a  salary  of  one 
hundred  francs  per  week. 

Having  now  the  sole  responsibility,  I  watched  her  as  you 
would  a  powder-magazine  lighted  by  gas.  I  let  nobody  but 
M.  Huguet  go  near  her  in  my  absence.  This  gentleman 
continued  to  keep  her  sweet  on  him  with  lumps  of  sugar, 
and  to  act  as  her  showman  when  she  exhibited  publicly. 

One  day  we  had  a  message  from  the  Tuileries,  and  we  got 
the  place  extra  clean;  and  the  king's  children  paid  her  a 
visit, — a  lot  of  little  chaps.  I  did  not  know  their  names, 
but  I  suppose  it  was  Prince  Joinville,  Aumale,  etc.  All  I 
know  is  that  while  these  little  Louis  Philippes  were  coaxing 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  61 

her,  and  feeding  her,  and  cutting  about  her,  and  sliding 
down  her,  and  I  was  telling  them  she  was  a  duck,  the  per- 
spiration was  running  down  my  back  one  moment  and  cold 
sjiivers  the  next;  and  I  thanked  Heaven  devoutly  when  the 
young  gents  went  back  to  there  papa  and  mamma,  and 
no  bones  broken.  The  young  gentlemen  reported  her 
affability  and  my  lies  to  the  king,  and  he  engaged  her  to 
perform  gratis  in  the  Champs  Elysees  during  the  three  days' 
fete.  Fifteen  hundred  francs  for  this. 

But  Huguet  was  penny-wise  and  pound-foolish  to  agree, 
for  it  took  her  gloss  off.  Showed  her  gratis  to  half  the 
city. 

Among  Djek's  visitors  came  one  day  a  pretty  young  lady, 
a  nursery  governess  to  some  nobleman's  children,  whose 
name  I  forget,  but  he  was  English.  The  children  were 
highly  amused  at  Djek,  and  quite  loath  to  go.  The  young 
lady,  who  had  a  smattering  of  English  as  I  had  of  French, 
put  several  questions  to  me.  I  answered  them  more  polite 
than  usual  on  account  of  her  being  pretty,  and  I  used  a 
privilege  I  had  and  gave  her  an  order  for  free  admission 
some  other  day.  She  came,  with  only  one  child,  which 
luckily  was  one  of  those  deeply  meditative  ones  that  occur 
but  rarely,  and  only  bring  out  a  word  every  half-hour;  so 
mademoiselle  and  I  had  a  chat,  which  I  found  so  agreeable 
that  I  rather  neglected  the  general  public  for  her.  I  made 
it  my  business  to  learn  where  she  aired  the  children,  and* 
one  vacant  morning,  dressed  in  the  top  of  the  fashion,  I 
stood  before  her  in  the  garden  of  the  Tuileries.  She  gave 
a  half-start  and  a  blush,  and  seemed  very  much  struck  with 


62  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

astonishment  at  this  rencounter.  She  was  a  little  less  aston- 
ished next  week  when  the  same  thing  happened,  but  still  she 
thought  these  coincidences  remarkable,  and  said  so.  In 

short,  I  paid  my  addresses  to  Mademoiselle .  She  was 

a  charming  brunette  from  Geneva,  greatly  my  superior  in 
education  and  station.  I  was  perfectly  conscious  of  this, 
and  instantly  made  this  calculation:  "All  the  better  for  me 
if  I  can  win  her."  But  the  reader  knows  my  character  by 
this  time,  and  must  have  observed  how  large  a  portion  of  it 
effrontery  forms.  I  wrote  to  her  every  day,  sometimes  in 
the  French  language — no,  not  in  the  French  language,  in 
French  words.  She  sometimes  answered  in  English  words. 
She  was  very  pretty  and  very  interesting,  and  I  fancied  her. 
When  a  man  is  in  love  he  can  hardly  see  difficulties.  I 
pressed  her  to  marry  me,  and  I  believed  she  would  consent. 
When  I  came  to  this  point  the  young  lady's  gayety  declined, 
and  when  I  was  painting  her  pictures  of  our  conjugal  happi- 
ness, she  used  to  sigh  instead  of  brightening  at  the  picture. 
At  last  I  pressed  her  so  hard  that  she  consented  to  write  to 
Geneva  and  ask  her  parents'  consent  to  our  union.  When 
the  letter  went  I  was  in  towering  spirits.  I  was  now  in  the 
zenith  of  my  prosperity.  The  risks  I  had  run  with  Djek 
were  rewarded  by  a  heavy  salary  and  the  post  of  honor  near 
her,  and,  now  that  I  was  a  little  weary  of  roaming  the  world 
alone  with  a  White  Elephant,  fate  had  thrown  in  my  way  a 
charming  companion  who  would  cheer  the  weary  road. 

Dreams. 

The  old  people  at  Geneva  saw  my  position  with  another 
eye.  "  He  is  a  servant  liable  to  lose  his  place  at  any  moment 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  63 

by  any  one  of  a  hundred  accidents,  and  his  profession  is  a 
discreditable  one — why,  he  is  a  showman. 

They  told  her  all  this  in  language  so  plain  that  she  would 
never  show  me  the  letter.  I  was  for  defying  their  advice 
and  authority,  but  she  would  not  hear  of  it.  I  was  forced  to 
temporize.  "In  a  month's  time,"  said  I  to  myself,  "her 
scruples  will  melt  away."  But  in  less  than  a  fortnight  the 
order  came  for  us  to  march  into  Flanders.  I  communicated 
this  cruel  order  to  my  sweetheart.  She  turned  pale  and 
made  no  secret  of  her  attachment  to  me,  and  of  the  pain 
she  felt  at  parting.  Every  evening  before  we  left  Paris  I 
saw  her,  and  implored  her  to  trust  herself  to  me  and  leave 
Paris  as  my  wife.  She  used  to  smile  at  my  pictures  of 
wedded  happiness,  and  cry  the  next  minute  because  she 
dared  not  give  herself  and  me  that  happiness;  but,  with  all 
this,  she  was  firm,  and  would  not  fly  in  her  parents'  face. 

At  last  came  a  sad  and  bitter  hour:  hat  in  hand,  as  the 
saying  is,  I  made  a  last  desperate  endeavor  to  persuade  her 
to  be  mine;  and  not  to  let  this  parting  take  place  at  all.  She 
was  much  agitated,  but  firm;  and,  the  more  I  said,  the  firmer 
she  became.  So  at  last  I  grew  frantic  and  reproached  her. 
I  called  her  a  cold-hearted  coquette,  and  we  parted  in  anger 
and  despair. 

Away  into  the  wide  world  again,  not  as  I  used  to  start  on 
these  pilgrimages,  with  a  stout  heart  and  iron  nerves,  but 
cold,  and  weary,  and  worn  out  before  the  journey  had  begun. 
As  we  left  Paris  behind  us  I  had  but  one  feeling,  that  the 
best  of  life  was  at  an  end  for  me.  My  limbs  took  me  along 
like  machinery,  but  my  heart  was  a  lump  of  ice  inside  me, 


64  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

and  I  would  have  thanked  any  man  for  knocking  me  on  the 
head  and  ending  the  monotonous  farce  of  my  existence;  ay, 
gentlefolks,  even  a  poor  mechanic  can  feel  like  this  when  the 
desire  of  his  heart  is  balked  forever. 

Trudge!  trudge!  trudge!  for  ever  and  ever. 

Tramp!  tramp!  tramp!  for  ever  and  ever. 

A  man  gets  faint  and  weary  of  it  at  last,  and  there  comes 
a  time  when  he  pines  for  a  hearth-stone  and  a  voice  he  can 
believe,  a  part,  at  least,  of  what  it  says,  and  a  Sunday  of 
some  sort  now  and  then;  and  my  time  was  come  to  long  for 
these  things,  and  for  a  pretty  and  honest  face  about  me  to 
stand  for  the  one  bit  of  peace  and  the  one  bit  of  truth  in 
my  vagabond  charlatan  life. 

I  lost  my  appetite  and  sleep,  and  was  very  nearly  losing 
heart  altogether.  My  clothes  hung  about  me  like  bags,  I 
got  so  thin.  It  was  my  infernal  occupation  that  cured  me 
after  all.  Djek  gave  me  no  time  even  for  despair.  The 
moment  I  became  her  sole  guardian  I  had  sworn  on  my 
knees  she  would  never  kill  another  man;  judge  whether  I 
had  to  look  sharp  after  her  to  keep  the  biped  from  perjury 
and  the  quadruped  from  murder.  I  slept  with  her — rose 
early — fed  her — walked  twenty  miles  with  her,  or  exhibited 
her  all  day,  sometimes  did  both,  and  at  night  rolled  into  the 
straw  beside  her,  too  deadly  tired  to  feel  all  my  unhappiness; 
and  so,  after  a  while,  time  and  toil  blunted  my  sense  of 
disappointment,  and  I  trudged,  and  tramped,  and  praised 
Djek's  moral  qualities  in  the  old  routine.  Only  now  and 
then,  when  I  saw  the  country  lads  in  France  and  Belgium 
going  to  church  dressed  in  their  best  with  their  sweethearts, 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  65 

and  I  in  prison  in  the  stable  with  my  four-legged  hussy, 
waiting  perhaps  till  dark  to  steal  out  and  march  to  some 
fresh  town,  I  used  to  feel  as  heavy  as  lead  and  as  bitter  as 
wormwood,  and  wish  we  were  all  dead  together  by  way  of  a 
change. 

A  man  needs  a  stout  heart  to  go  through  the  world  at  all, 
but  most  of  all  he  needs  it  for  a  roving  life;  don't  you 
believe  any  other,  no  matter  who  tells  you. 

With  this  brief  notice  of  my  feelings  I  pass  over  two 
months'  travel.  All  through  I  spare  the  reader  much, 
though  I  dare  say  he  doesn't  see  it. 

Sir,  the  very  names  of  the  places  I  have  visited  would  fill 
an  old-fashioned  map  of  Europe. 

Talk  of  Ulysses  and  his  travels!  he  never  saw  the  tenth 
part  of  what  I  have  gone  through. 

I  have  walked  with  Djek  farther  than  round  the  world 
during  the  eleven  years  I  have  trudged  beside  her;  it  is  only 
24,000  miles  round  the  world. 

After  a  year's  pilgrimage  we  found  ourselves  at  Doncheray, 
near  Sedan.  » 

Here  we  had  an  incident.  Mons.  Huguet  was  showing 
her  to  the  public  with  the  air  of  a  prince  and  in  his  Marechal 
of  France  costume,  glittering  with  his  theatrical  cross  of  the 
Legion  of  Honor.  He  was  not  particular  what  he  put  on, 
so  that  it  shone  and  looked  well.  He  sent  me  for  something 
connected  with  the  performance, — a  pistol,  I  think.  I  had 
hardly  ten  steps  to  go,  but  during  the  time  I  was  out  of  her 
sight  I  heard  a  man  cry  out  and  the  White  Elephant  snort. 
I  ran  back  hallooing  as  I  came.  As  I  ran  in  I  found  the 


66  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

White  Elephant  feeling  for  something  in  the  straw  with  her 
foot,  and  the  people  rushing  out  of  the  doors  in  dismay. 
The  moment  she  saw  me  she  affected  innocence,  but  trembled 
from  head  to  foot.  I  drew  out  from  the  straw  a  thing  you 
would  have  taken  for  a  scarecrow  or  a  bundle  of  rags.  It 
was  my  master,  Mr.  Huguet,  his  glossy  hat  battered,  his 
glossy  coat  stained  and  torn,  and  his  arm  broken  in  two 
places;  a  moment  more  and  her  foot  would  have  been  on 
him,  and  his  soul  crushed  out  of  his  body. 

The  people  were  surprised  when  they  saw  the  furious 
snorting  monster  creep  into  a  corner  to  escape  a  little  fellow 
five  feet  four,  who  got  to  the  old  weapon,  pitchfork,  and 
drove  it  into  every  part  of  her  but  her  head.  She  hid  that 
in  the  corner  the  moment  she  saw  blood  in  my  eye. 

We  got  poor  M.  Huguet  to  bed,  and  a  doctor  from  the 
Hospital  to  him,  and  a  sorrowful  time  he  had  of  it;  and  so, 
after  standing  good  for  twelve  years,  lump  sugar  fell  to  the 
ground.  Pitchfork  held  good. 

At  night  more  than  a  hundred  people  came  to  see  whether 
I  was  really  so  hardy  as  to  sleep  with  this  ferocious  animal. 
To  show  them  my  sense  of  her,  I  lay  down  between  her  legs. 
On  this  she  lifted  her  four  feet  singly,  and  with  the  utmost 
care  and  delicacy  drew  them  back  over  my  body. 

As  soon  as  M.  Huguet's  arm  was  set  and  doing  well,  he 
followed  us  (we  had  got  into  France  by  this  time),  and  came 
in  along  with  the  public  to  admire  us,  and,  to  learn  how  the 
White  Elephant  stood  affected  toward  him  now,  he  cried  out, 
in  his  most  ingratiating  way, — in  sugared  tones, — "  Djek,  my 
boy!  Djek!"  At  this  sound  Djek  rai&ed  a  roar  of  the 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  67 

most  infernal  rage,  and  Huguet,  who  knew  her  real  character 
well  enough,  though  he  pretented  not  to,  comprehended  that 
her  heart  was  now  set  upon  his  extinction,  malgrd  twelve 
years  of  lump  sugar. 

He  sent  for  me,  and  with  many  expressions  of  friendship 
offered  me  the  invaluable  animal  for  thirty  thousand  francs. 
I  declined  her  without  thanks.  "Then  I  shall  have  the 
pleasure  of  killing  her  to-morrow,"  said  the  Frenchman, 
"and  what  will  become  of  your  salary,  mon  pauvre  gargon?" 

In  short,  he  had  me  in  a  fix,  and  used  his  power.  I  bought 
her  of  him  for  20,000  francs,  to  be  paid  by  installments.  I 
gave  him  the  first  installment,  a  five  franc  piece,  and  walked 
out  of  the  wine-shop  her  sole  proprietor. 

The  sense  of  property  is  pleasant,  even  when  we  have  net 
paid  for  the  article. 

That  night  I  formed  my  plans.  There  was  no  time  to 
lose,  because  I  had  only  a  thousand  francs  in  the  world,  and 
she  ate  a  thousand  francs  a  week  or  nearly.  I  determined  to 
try  Germany, — a  poor  country  but  one  which,  being  quite  in- 
land, could  not  have  become  callous  to  an  elephant,  perhaps 
had  never  seen  one.  I  shall  never  forget  the  fine,  clear  morning 
I  started  on  my  own  account.  The  sun  was  just  rising,  the 
birds  were  tuning,  and  all  manner  of  sweet  smells  came  from 
the  fields  and  the  hedges.  Djek  seemed  to  step  out  more 
majestically  than  when  she  was  another  man's;  my  heart 
beat  high.  Eleven  years  ago  I  had  started  the  meanest  of 
her  slaves.  I  had  worked  slowly,  painfully,  but  steadily  up, 
and  now  I  was  actually  her  lord  and  master,  and  half  the 
world  before  me  with  the  sun  shining  on  it. 


68  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

The  first  town  I  showed  her  at  as  mine  was  Verdun,  and 

the  next  day  I  wrote  to  Mademoiselle at  Paris  to  tell 

her  of  the  change  in  my  fortunes.  This  was  the  only  letter 
I  had  sent,  for  we  parted  bad  friends.  I  received  a  kinder 
answer  than  the  abrupt  tone  of  my  letter  deserved.  She  con- 
gratulated me,  and  thanked  me  for  remembering  that  what- 
ever good  fortune  befell  me  must  give  her  particular  pleas- 
ure, and  in  the  postscript  she  told  me  she  was  just  about  to 
leave  Paris  and  return  to  her  parents  in  Switzerland. 

Djek  crossed  into  Prussia,  tramped  that  country,  and  pene- 
trated into  the  heart  of  Germany.  As  I  had  hoped,  she  de- 
scended on  this  nation  with  all  the  charm  of  novelty,  and 
used  to  clear  the  copper*  out  of  a  whole  village.  I  remem- 
ber early  in  this  trip  being  at  a  country  inn.  I  saw  rustics, 
male  and  female,  dressed  in  their  Sunday  clothes,  coming 
over  the  hills  from  every  side  to  one  point.  I  thought  there 
must  be  a  fair  or  something.  I  asked  the  landlord  what 
they  were  all  coming  for.  He  said:  "Why,  you,  to  be  sure." 
They  never  saw  such  a  thing  in  their  lives,  and  never  will  again. 

In  fact,  at  one  or  two  small  places  we  were  stopped  by  the 
authorities,  who  had  heard  that  we  carried  more  specie  out 
of  little  towns  than  the  circulating  medium  would  bear. 

In  short,  my  first  coup  was  successful.  After  six  months' 
Germany,  Bavaria,  Prussia,  etc.,  I  returned  to  the  Rhine  at 
Strasbourg  with  eight  thousand  francs.  During  all  this  time 
she  never  hurt  a  soul,  I  watched  her  so  fearfully  close.  So, 
being  debarred  from  murder,  she  tried  arson. 

*  Germany  is  mostly  made  of  copper.  A  bucketful  of  farthings  was  a 
common  thing  for  me  to  have  in  my  carriage. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  &9 

At  a  place  in  Bavaria  her  shed  was  suddenly  observed  to 
be  in  flames,  and  we  saved  her  with  difficulty. 

The  cause  never  transpired  until  now,  but  I  saw  directly 
how  it  had  been  done.  I  had  unwarily  left  my  coat  in  her 
way.  The  pockets  were  found  emptied  of  all  their  contents, 
among  which  was  a  lucifer-box,  fragments  of  which  I  found 
among  the  straw.  She  had  played  with  this  in  her  trunk, 
hammering  it  backward  and  forward  against  her  knee,  drop- 
ping the  lighted  matches  into  the  straw,  when  they  stung 
her,  and  very  nearly  roasted  her  own  beef — the  mischievous, 
uneasy  devil. 

My  readers  will  not  travel  with  a  White  Elephant,  but 
business  of  some  sort  will  fall  to  the  lot  of  some  of  them 
soon  or  late,  and,  as  charlatanry  is  the  very  soul  of  modern 
business,  it  may  not  be  amiss  to  show  how  the  humble 
artisan  worked  his  White  Elephant. 

We  never  allowed  ourselves  to  drop  casually  upon  any 
place,  like  a  shower  of  rain. 

A  man  in  bright  livery,  green  and  gold,  mounted  on  a 
showy  horse,  used  to  ride  into  the  town  or  village,  and  go 
round  to  all  the  inns,  making  loud  inquiries  about  their 
means  of  accommodation  for  the  elephant  and  her  train. 
Four  hours  after  him,  the  people  being  now  a  little  agog, 
another  green  and  gold  man  came  in  on  a  trained  horse,  and 
inquired  for  No.  i.  As  soon  as  he  had  found  him,  the  two 
rode  together  round  the  town, — No.  2  blowing  a  trumpet  and 
proclaiming  the  WThite  Elephant;  the  nations  she  had  in- 
structed in  the  wonders  of  nature;  the  kings  she  had 


70  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

amused;  her  grandeur,  her  intelligence,  and,  above  all,  her 
dovelike  disposition. 

This  was  allowed  to  ferment  for  some  hours,  and,  when 
expectation  was  at  its  height,  the  rest  of  the  cavalcade  used  to 
heave  in  sight,  Djek  bringing  up  the  rear.  Arrived,  I  used 
to  shut  her  in  out  of  sight,  and  send  all  my  men  and  horses 
round,  parading,  trumpeting,  and  pasting  bills,  so  that  at 
last  the  people  were  quite  ripe  for  her,  and  then  we  went  to 
work;  and  thus  the  humble  artisan  and  his  White  Elephant 
cut  a  greater  dash  than  lions,  and  tigers,  and  mountebanks, 
and  quacks,  and  drew  more  money. 

Here  is  one  of  my  programmes:  only  I  must  remark  that 
I  picked  up  my  French  where  I  picked  up  the  sincerity  it 
embodies,  in  the  circuses,  coulisses,  and  cabarets  of  French 
towns,  so  that  I  can  patter  French  as  fast  as  you  like;  but, 
of  course,  I  know  no  more  about  it  than  a  pig, — not  to  really 

know  it. 

Par  permission  de  M.  le  Maire, 

Le  grand 
WHITE  ELEPHANT 

du  Roi  de  Siam, 
Du  Cirque  Olympique  Franconi. 

Mile.  Djek, 

Elephant  colossal,  de  onze  pieds  de  hauteur  et  du  poids  de 
neuf  mille  liv.,  est  le  plus  grand  elephant  qui  Ton  ait  vu 
en  Europe. 

M.  H.  B.  Lott,  naturaliste,  pourvoyeur  des  menageries  des 
diverses  cours  d'Europe,  actionnaire  du  Circue  Olympique 
et  proprietaire  de  ce  magnifique  elephant,  qu'il  a  dresse"  au 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  71 

point  de  le  presenter  au  public  dans  une  piece  theatrale  qui 
fut  cre"ee  pour  Maddle.  Djek  il  y  a  trois  ans  et  demi,  et  qui  a 
eu  un  si  grand  succes,  sous  le  nom  de  1'Elephant  du  Roi  de 
Siam. 

Le  proprietaire,  dans  son  voyage  autour  du  monde,  cut 
occasion  d'acheter  cet  enorme  quadrupede,  qui  le  prit  en 
affection,  et  qui,  depuis  onze  ans  qu'il  le  possede,  ne  s'est 
jamais  dementi,  se  plait  a  ecouter  son  maitre  et  execute  avec 
punctualite  tout  ce  qu'il  lui  indique  de  faire. 

Mile.  Djek,  qui  est  dans  toute  la  force  de  sa  taille,  a  main- 
tenant  cent  vingt-cinq  ans;  elle  a  onze  pieds  de  hauteur — et 
pese  neuf  mille  livres. 

Sa  consommation  dans  les  vingt-quatre  heures  excede 
deux  cent  livres — quarante  livres  de  pain  pour  son  dejeuner; 
a  midi,  du  son  et  de  1'avoine;  le  soir,  des  pommes  de  terre 
ou  du  rizcuit:  et  la  nuit  du  foin  et  de  la  paille. 

C'est  le  meme  elephant  qui  a  combattu  la  lionne  de  M. 
Martin.  Cette  lionne  en  furie,  qu'une  imprudence  fit  sortir 
de  sa  cage,  s'elance  sur  M.  H.  B.  Lott  qui  se  trouvait  aupres 
de  son  elephant;  voyant  le  danger  il  se  refugie  derriere  une 
des  jambes  de  ce  bon  animal,  qui  releve  sa  trompe  pour  le 
proteger.*  La  lionne  allait  saisir  M.  H.  B.  Lott;  I'eldphant 
la  voit,  rabat  sa  trompe,  1'enveloppe,  1'etouffe,  la  jette  au  loin, 
et  1'aurait  ecrasee,  si  son  maitre  ne  lui  cut  dit  de  ne  pas  con- 
tinuer. 

Elle  a  ensuite  allonge  sa  trompe,  frappe"  du  pied,  criant  et 
temoignant  la  satisfaction,  qu'elle  e"prouvait  d'avoir  sauve" 

*  I  am  a  dull  fellow  now,  as  you  see.  But  you  must  allow  I  have  been 
a  man  of  imagination. 


72  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

son  ami  d'une  mort  certaine,  comme  on  a  pu  voir  dans  les 
journaux  en  fevrier  1832. 

Dans  les  cours  des  seances,  on  lui  fera  faire  tous  ses 
grands  exercices  qui  sont  dignes  d'admiration,  dont  le  grand 
nombre  ne  permet  pas  d'en  donner  1'analyse  dans  cette 
affiche,  et  qu'il  faut  voir  pour  Ten  faire  une  idee  juste. 

Prix  d'entree:  Premieres  Secondes 

Les  militaires  et  les  enfants,  moitie. 

I  don't  think  but  what  my  countrymen  will  understand 
every  word  of  the  above;  but,  as  there  are  a  great  number 
of  Frenchmen  in  London  who  will  read  this,  I  think  it  would 
look  unkind  not  to  translate  it  into  English  for  their  benefit. 

By  permission  of  the  Worshipful  the  Mayor, 

the  great 
WHITE  ELEPHANT 

of  the  King  of  Siam, 
from  Franconi's  Olympic  Circus. 

Mademoiselle  Djek, 

Colossal  Elephant,  eleven  feet  high,  and  weighs  nine  thou- 
sand pounds. 
The  largest  elephant  ever  seen  in  Europe. 

Mr.  H.  B.  Lott,  naturalist,  who  supplies  the  menageries 
of  the  various  courts  of  Europe,  shareholder  in  the  Olympic 
Circus,  and  proprietor  of  this  magnificent  White  Elephant, 
which  he  has  trained  to  such  a  height  that  he  will  present 
her  to  the  public  in  a  dramatic  piece  which  was  written  for 
her  three  years  and  a  half  ago,  and  had  a  great  success 
under  the  title  of  the  White  Elephant  of  the  King  of  Siam. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  73 

The  proprietor,  in  his  voyage  round  the  globe,  was  for- 
tunate enough  to  purchase  this  enormous  quadruped,  which 
became  attached  to  him,  and  has  been  eleven  years  in  his 
possession,  during  which  time  she  has  never  once  forgotten 
herself,  and- executes  with  obedient  zeal  whatever  he  bids 
her. 

Mile.  Djek  has  now  arrived  at  her  full  growth,  being  one 
hundred  and  twenty-five  years  of  age;  she  is  eleven  feet 
high,  and  weighs  nine  thousand  pounds.  Her  daily  con- 
sumption exceeds  two  hundred  pounds.  She  takes  forty 
pounds  of  bread  for  her  breakfast,  at  noon  barley  and  oats, 
in  the  evening  potatoes  or  rice  cooked,  and  at  night  hay  and 
straw. 

This  is  the  same  White  Elephant  that  fought  with  Mr. 
Martin's  lioness.  The  lioness,  whom  the  carelessness  of  the 
attendants  allowed  to  escape  from  her  cage,  dashed  furiously 
at  Mr.  H.  B.  Lott;  fortunately  he  was  near  his  White  Ele- 
phant, and,  seeing  the  danger,  took  refuge  behind  one  of  the 
legs  of  that  valuable  animal.  She  raised  her  trunk  in  her 
master's  defence.  The  lioness  made  to  seize  him;  but  the 
White  Elephant  lowered  her  trunk,  seized  the  lioness,  choked 
her,  flung  her  a  distance,  and  would  have  crushed  her  to 
death  if  Mr.  Lott  had  not  commanded  her  to  desist. 
After  that  she  extended  her  trunk,  stamped  with  her  foot, 
trumpeting  and  showing  her  satisfaction  at  having  saved  her 
friend  from  certain  death,  full  accounts  of  which  are  to  be 
seen  in  the  journals  of  February,  1832. 

In  the  course  of  the  exhibition  she  will  go  through  all  her 
exercises,  which  are  wonderful,  and  so  numerous  that  it  is 


74  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

impossible  to  enumerate  them  in  this  bill;  they  must  be  seen 
to  form  a  just  idea  of  them. 

Prices  :  First  places  Second  .  Soldiers  and  chil- 
dren half  price. 

Djek  and  I  used  to  make  our  bow  to  our  audiences  in  the 
following  fashion:  I  came  on  with  her,  and  said,  "  Otez  mon 
chapeau  pour  saluer; "  then  she  used  to  take  off  my  hat, 
wave  it  gracefully,  and  replace  it  on  my  head.  She  then 
proceeded  to  pick  up  twenty  five-franc  pieces,  one  after 
another,  and  keep  them  piled  in  the  extremity  of  her  trunk. 
She  also  fired  pistols,  and  swept  her  den  with  a  broom,  in  a 
most  painstaking  and  ludicrous  way. 

But  perhaps  her  best  business  in  a  real  judge's  eye  was 
drinking  a  bottle  of  wine.  The  reader  will  better  estimate 
this  feat  if  he  will  fancy  himself  a  White  Elephant,  and  lay 
down  the  book  now,  and  ask  himself  how  he  would  do  it, 
and  read  the  following  afterward. 

The  bottle  (cork  drawn)  stood  before  her.  She  placed 
the  finger  and  thumb  of  her  proboscis  on  the  mouth,  made 
a  vacuum  by  suction,  and  then,  suddenly  inverting  the  bottle, 
she  received  the  contents  in  her  trunk.  The  difficulty  now 
was  to  hold  the  bottle,  which  she  would  not  have  broken  for 
a  thousand  pounds  (my  lady  thought  less  of  killing  ten  men 
than  breaking  a  saucer),  and  yet  not  let  the  liquor  run  from 
her  flesh-pipe.  She  rapidly  shifted  her  hold  to  the  centre 
of  the  bottle,  and  worked  it  by  means  of  the  wrinkles  in  her 
proboscis  to  the  bend  of  it.  Then  she  griped  it,  and  at  the 
same  time  curled  round  her  trunk  to  a  sloping  position,  and 
let  the  wine  run  down  her  throat.  This  done,  she  resumed 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  75 

the  first  position  of  her  trunk  and  worked  the  bottle  back 
toward  her  finger,  suddenly  snapped  hold  of  it  by  the  neck, 
and  handed  it  gracefully  to  me. 

With  this  exception,  it  was  not  her  public  tricks  that  aston- 
ished me  most.  The  principle  of  all  these  tricks  is  one. 
An  animal  is  taught  to  lay  hold  of  things  at  command,  and 
to  shift  them  from  one  place  to  another.  You  vary  the 
thing  to  be  laid  hold  of,  but  the  act  is  the  same.  In  her 
drama,  which  was  so  effective  on  the  stage,  Djek  did  noth- 
ing out  of  the  way.  She  merely  went  through  certain  me- 
chanical acts  at  a  word  of  command  from  her  keeper,  who 
was  unseen  or  unnoticed;  /.  <?.,  he  was  either  at  the  wing  in 
his  fustian  jacket,  or  on  the  stage  with  her  in  gimcrack  and 
gold,  as  one  of  a  lot  of  slaves  or  courtiers,  or  what  not.  Be- 
tween ourselves,  a  single  trick  I  have  several  times  caught 
her  doing  on  her  own  account  proved  more  for  her  intelli- 
gence than  all  these.  She  used  to  put  her  eye  to  a  keyhole. 
Ay,  that  she  would,  and  so  watch  for  hours  to  see  what 
devil's  trick  she  could  do  with  impunity, — she  would  see  me 
out  of  the  way,  and  then  go  to  work.  Where  there  was  no 
keyhole  I  have  seen  her  pick  the  knot  out  of  a  deal  board, 
and  squint  through  the  little  hole  she  had  thus  made. 

A  dog  comes  next  to  an  elephant,  but  he  is  not  up  to  look- 
ing through  a  keyhole  or  a  crack.  He  can  think  of  nothing 
better  than  snuffing  under  the  door. 

At  one  place,  being  under  a  granary,  she  worked  a  hole  in 
the  ceiling  no  bigger  than  a  thimble,  and  sucked  down  sack- 
fuls  of  grain  before  she  was  found  out.  Talk  of  the  half- 
reasoning  elephant;  she  seldom  met  a  man  that  could  match 


76  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

her  in  reasoning, — to  a  bad  end.  Her  weak  points  were  her 
cruelty  and  cowardice,  and  by  this  latter  Tom  Elliot  and  I 
governed  her  with  a  rod  of  iron,  vulgarly  called  a  pitchfork. 
If  a  mouse  pattered  about  the  floor  in  her  stable,  Djek  used 
to  tremble  all  over,  and  whine  with  terror  till  the  little 
monster  was  gone.  A  ton  shaken  by  an  ounce. 

I  have  seen  her  start  back  in  dismay  from  a  small  feather 
floating  in  the  air.  If  her  heart  had  been  as  stout  as  her 
will  to  do  mischief  was  strong,  mankind  must  have  risen  to 
put  her  down. 

Spare  the  pitchfork,  spoil  the  elephant. 

There  is  another  animal  people  misconstrue  just  as  bad, — 
the  hyena. 

Terrible  fierce  animal,  the  hyena,  says  Buffon  and  Co., 
and  the  world  echoes  the  chant. 

Fierce,  are  they  ?  You  get  a  score  of  them  together  in  a 
yard,  and  you  shall  see  me  walk  into  the  lot  with  nothing 
but  a  switch,  and  them  try  to  get  between  the  brick  and  the 
mortar  with  the  funk, — that  is  how  fierce  they  are;  and  they 
are  not  only  cowardly,  but  innocent,  and  affectionate  into 
the  bargain,  is  the  fierce  hyena  of  Buffon  and  Co.;  but,  indeed, 
wild  animals  are  sadly  misunderstood;  it  is  pitiable;  and 
those  that  have  the  best  charcter  deserve  it  less  than  those 
that  have  the  worst. 

In  one  German  town  I  met  with  something  I  should  like 
to  tell  the  sporting  gents,  for  I  don't  think  there  is  many 
that  ever  fell  in  with  such  a  thing.  But  it  is  an  old  saying 
that  what  does  happen  has  happened  before  and  may  again, 
so  I  tell  this  to  put  them  on  their  guard,  especially  in  Ger- 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  77 

many.  Well  it  was  a  good  town  for  business,  and  we  stayed 
several  days;  but  before  we  had  been  there  many  hours  my 
horses  turned  queer.  Restless  they  were,  and  uneasy. 
Sweated  of  their  own  accord.  Stamped  eternally.  One,  in 
particular,  began  to  lose  flesh.  We  examined  the  hay.  It 
seemed  particularly  good,  and  the  oats  not  amiss.  Called 
the  landlord  in,  and  asked  him  if  he  could  account  for  it. 
He  stands  looking  at  them;  this  one,  called  Dick,  was  all  in 
a  lather.  "Well,  I  think  I  know  now,"  said  he;  "they  are 
bewitched.  You  see  there  is  an  old  woman  in  the  next 
street  that  bewitches  cattle,  and  she  rides  on  your  horses' 
backs  all  night,  you  may  take  your  oath."  Then  he  tells  us 
a  lot  of  stories,  whose  cow  died  after  giving  this  old  wench 
a  rough  word,  and  how  she  had  been  often  seen  to  go  across 
the  meadows  in  the  shape  of  a  hare.  "  She  has  a  spite 
against  me,  the  old  sorceress,"  says  he.  •'  She  has  been  at 
them;  you  had  better  send  for  the  pastor."  "Go  for  the 
farrier,  Jem,"  says  I.  So  we  had  in  the  farrier.  He  sat  on 
the  bin  and  smoked  his  pipe  in  dead  silence,  looking  at  them. 
"  They  seem  a  little  fidgety,"  says  he,  after  about  half  an 
hour.  So  I  turned  him  out  of  the  stable.  And  I  was  in  two 
minds  about  punching  his  head,  I  was.  "  Send  for  the  vete- 
rinary surgeon,  No.  i."  He  came.  "  They  have  got  some 
disorder,"  says  he,  "that  is  plain;  nostrils  are  clear,  too. 
Let  me  see  them  eat."  They  took  their  food  pretty  well. 
Then  he  asked  where  we  came  from  last.  I  told  him. 
"Well,"  said  he,  cheerfully,  "this  is  a  murrain,  I  think.  In 
this  country  we  do  invent  a  new  murrain  about  every  twenty 
years.  We  are  about  due  now."  He  spoke  English,  this 


78  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

one, — quite  a  fine  gentlemen.  One  of  the  grooms  put  in,  "  I 
think  the  water  is  poisoned."  "  Any  way,"  says  another. 
"Dick  will  die  if  we  stay  here."  So  they  both  pressed  me 
to  leave  the  town.  "You  know,  governor,  we  can't  afford 
to  lose  the  horses."  Now  I  was  clearing  ten  pounds  a  day 
in  the  place,  and  all  expenses  paid;  so  I  looked  blank.  So 
did  the  veterinary.  "I  wouldn't  go,"  says  he;  "wait  a  day. 
or  two;  then  the  disease  will  declare  itself,  and  we  shall  know 
what  we  are  doing."  You  see,  gents,  he  did  not  relish  my 
taking  a  murrain  out  of  his  town;  he  was  a  veterinary. 
"Whatever  it  is,"  says  he,  "you  brought  it  with  you."  "Well, 
now,"  said  I,  "  my  opinion  is  I  found  it  here.  Did  you  notice 
anything  at  the  last  place,  Nick  ?"  "  No;"  the  grooms  both 
bore  me  out.  "  Oh  !  "  says  the  vet,  "you  can't  go  by  that; 
it  had  not  declared  itself."  Well,  if  you  will  believe  me  (I 
often  laugh  when  I  think  of  it),  it  was  not  two  minutes  after 
he  said  that  that  it  did  declare  itself,  It  was  Sunday  morn- 
ing, and  Nick  had  got  a  clean  shirt  on.  Nick  was  currying 
the  very  horse  called  Dick,  when  all  of  a  sudden  the  sleeve 
of  his  white  shirt  looked  dirty.  "What now?"  cries  he,  and 
comes  to  the  light.  "  I  do  believe  it  is  vermin,"  says  he, 
"and  if  it  is  they  are  eaten  up  with  it."  "Vermin  ?  What 
vermin  can  that  be  ?"  said  I;  "  have  we  invented  a  new  ver- 
min, too  ?"  They  were  no  bigger  than  pins'  points, — looked 
like  dust  on  his  shirt.  "  What  do  you  say,  sir — is  it  vermin  ?" 
"  Not  a  doubt  of  it,"  says  the  vet.  "  These  are  poultry-lice, 
unless  I  am  mistaken.  Have  you  any  hens  anywhere 
near?"  Both  the  grooms  burst  out,  "Hens?  why,  there 
are  full  a  hundred  up  in  the  hay-loft."  So  that  was  the 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  79 

murrain.  The  hens  had  been  tumbling  in  the  hay;  the 
hay  came  down  to  the  rack  all  alive  with  their  vermin;  and 
the  vermin  were  eating  the  horses.  We  stopped  that  supply 
of  hay;  and  what  with  currying,  and  washing  with  a  solut. 
the  vet.  gave  us,  we  cured  that  murrain — chicken-pox,  if  any. 
We  had  a  little  scene  at  going  away  from  this  place.  Land- 
lord had  agreed  to  charge  nothing  for  the  use  of  stabling, 
we  spent  so  much  in  other  ways  with  him.  In  spite  of  that, 
he  put  it  down  at  the  foot  of  the  list.  I  would  not  pay. 
"You  must."  "  I  won't."  "Then  you  sha'n't  go  till  you 
do;"  and  with  that  he  and  his  servants  closed  the  great  gates. 
The  yard  was  entered  by  two  great  double  doors  like  barn 
doors,  secured  outside  by  a  stout  beam.  So  there  he  had  us 
fast.  It  got  wind,  and  there  was  the  whole  population  hoot- 
ing outside,  three  thousand  strong.  Then  it  was,  "  Come, 
don't  be  a  fool." 

"Don't  you  be  a  fool." 

"Stand  clear,"  said  I  to  the  man;  "we  will  alter  our  usual 
line  of  march  this  time;  I'll  take  Djek  from  the  rear  to  the 
front."  So  they  all  formed  behind  me  and  Djek,  two  car- 
riages, and  six  horses,  all  in  order.  "Now,"  said  I,  "land- 
lord, you  have  had  your  joke,  open  the  door  and  let  us  part 
friends;  we  have  been  with  you  a  week,  you  know,  and  you 
have  had  one  profit  out  of  us,  and  another  out  of  the  towns- 
folk we  brought  to  your  bar.  Open  the  door." 

Pay  me  my  bill,  and  I'll  open,"  says  he.  "  If  I  turned  away 
one  traveller  from  my  stable  for  you,  I've  turned  away  twenty." 

"  A  bargain  is  a  bargain.  Will  you  open  before  she  knocks 
your  door  into  toothpicks  ?" 


8o  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

"  Oh  !  I'll  risk  my  door  if  you'll  risk  your  beast.  No,  I 
won't  open  till  I  am  paid." 

"  Once,  will  you  open  ?" 

"No." 

"  Twice,  will  you  open  ?     Thrice  ?" 

"No." 

"Djek— Go  !" 

She  walked  lazily  at  the  door,  as  if  she  did  not  see  it. 
The  moment  she  touched  it  both  doors  were  in  the  road; 
the  beam  was  in  half  in  the  road.  Most  times  one  thing 
stands,  another  goes;  here  it  all  went  bodily  on  all  sides  like 
paper  on  a  windy  day,  and  the  people  went  fastest  of  all. 
There  was  the  yell  of  a  multitude  under  our  noses,  then  an 
empty  street  under  our  eyes.  We  marched  on  calm,  majes- 
tical,  and  unruffled  beneath  the  silent  night. 

Doors  and  bolts,  indeed,  to  a  lady  that  had  stepped  through 
a  brick  wall  before  that  day — an  English  brick  wall. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

FROM  Strasbourg  I  determined  to  go  into  Switzerland  ; 
above  all,  to  Geneva.  I  could  not  help  it.  In  due  course 
of  time  and  travel  I  arrived  near  Geneva,  and  sent  forward 
my  green  and  gold  avant-couriers  ;  but,  alas  !  they  returned 
with  the  doleful  news  that  elephants  were  not  admitted  into 
that  ancient  city.  The  last  elephant  that  had  been  there  had 
done  mischief,  and,  at  the  request  of  its  proprietor,  Madlle. 
Gamier,  a  young  lady  whose  conscience  smote  her,  for  she 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  8r 

had  another  elephant  that  killed  one  or  two  people  in  Venice, 
was  publicly  executed  in  the  fortress.* 

Fortunately  (as  I  then  thought),  I  had  provided  myself 
with  testimonials  from  the  Mayor  and  Governors  of  some 
score  of  towns,  testifying  that  this  was  a  White  Elephant 
from  Siam.  I  produced  these,  and  made  friends  in  the  town, 
particularly  with  a  Dr.  Mayo.  At  last  we  were  admitted. 
Djek  was  proved  a  dove  by  such  overpowering  testimony. 
I  had  now  paid  M.  Huguet  six  thousand  francs  and  found 
myself  possessed  of  five  thousand  more.  Business  was  very 
good  in  Geneva.  Djek  was  very  popular.  Her  intelligence 
and  amiability  became  a  by-word.  I  had  but  one  bitter  dis- 
appointment, though. 

Madlle. never  came  to  see  us,  and  I  was  too  sulky 

and  too  busy  to  hunt  for  her.  Besides,  I  said  to  myself, 
"  All  the  world  can  find  me,  and  if  she  cared  a  button  for  me 
she  would  come  to  light."  I  tried  to  turn  it  off  with  the  old 
song, 

"  Now  get  ye  gone,  ye  scornful  dame  ; 
If  you  are  proud,  I'll  be  the  same. 
I  make  no  doubt  that  I  shall  find 
As  pretty  a  girl  unto  my  mind." 

Behold  me  now  at  the  climax  of  prosperity,  dressed  like  a 
gentleman,  driving  a  pair  of  horses,  proprietor  of  a  whole 
cavalcade  and  of  a  White  Elephant ;  and,  after  clearing  all 
expenses,  making  at  the  rate  of  full  ,£600  per  annum. 
There  was  a  certain  clergyman  of  the  place  used  to  visit  us 

*  They  gave  this  elephant  an  ounce  of  prussic  acid  and  an  ounce  of 
arsenic ;  neither  of  these  sedatives  producing  any  effect,  they  fired  a 
cannon-ball  through  her  neck. 


82  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

about  every  day,  and  bring  her  cakes  and  things  to  eat,  till 
he  got  quite  fond  of  her,  and  believed  that  she  returned  his 
affection.  I  used  to  beg  him  not  to  go  so  close  to  her.  On 
this,  his  answer  was,  "  Why,  you  say  she  is  harmless  as  a 
chicken  ;"  so  then  I  had  no  more  to  say.  Well,  one  unlucky 
day  I  turned  my  back  for  a  moment;  before  I  could  get  back 
there  were  the  old  sounds,  a  snort  of  rage,  and  a  cry  of  ter- 
ror, and  there  was  the  poor  minister  in  her  trunk.  At  sight 
of  me  she  dropped  him,  but  two  of  his  ribs  were  broken,  and 
he  was  quite  insensible,  and  the  people  rushed  out  in  terror. 
We  raised  the  clergyman  and  carried  him  home,  and  in  half 
an  hour  a  mob  was  before  the  door,  and  stones  as  big  as 
your  fists  thrown  in  at  the  windows  ;  this,  however,  was 
stopped  by  the  authorities.  But  the  next  day  my  lady  was 
arrested  and  walked  off  to  the  fortress,  and  there  confined. 
I  remonstrated,  expostulated,  in  vain.  I  had  now  to  feed 
her  and  no  return  from  her  ;  ruin  stared  me  in  the  face.  So 
I  went  to  law  with  the  authorities.  Law  is  slow,  and  Djek 
was  eating  all  the  time.  Ruin  looked  nearer  still.  The  law 
ate  my  green  and  gold  servants  and  horses,  and  still  Djek 
remained  in  quod.  Then  I  refused  to  feed  her  any  longer, 
and  her  expenses  fell  upon  the  town.  Her  appetite  and  their 
poverty  soon  brought  matters  to  a  climax.  They  held  a  sort 
of  municipal  tribunal,  and  tried  her  for  an  attempt  at 
homicide.  I  got  counsel  to  defend  her,  for  I  distrusted  my 
own  temper  and  French. 

I  can't  remember  half  the  fine  things  he  said,  but  there 
was  one  piece  of  common  sense  I  do  remember.  He  said  : 
"  The  animal,  I  believe,  is  unconscious  of  her  great  strength, 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  83 

and  has  committed  a  fatal  error  rather  than  a  crime  ;  still,  if 
you  think  she  is  liable  to  make  such  errors,  let  her  die  rather 
than  kill  men.  But  how  do  you  reconcile  to  your  consciences 
to  punish  her  proprietor,  to  rob  him  of  his  subsistence  ?  He 
has  committed  no  crime,  he  has  been  guilty  of  no  want  of 
caution.  If,  therefore,  you  take  upon  yourselves  to  punish 
the  brute,  be  honest !  buy  her  of  the  man  first,  and  then- 
assert  your  sublime  office — destroy  an  animal  that  has 
offended  morality.  But  a  city  should  be  above  wronging  or 
robbing  an  individual."  When  he  sat  down  I  thought  my 
homicide  was  safe,  for  I  knew  Geneva  could  not  afford  to 
buy  a  White  Elephant  without  it  was  out  of  a  Noah's  ark. 

But,  up  gets  an  orator  on  the  other  side  and  attacked  me, 
accused  me  of  false  representations,  of  calling  a  demon  a 
duck.  "We  have  certain  information  from  France  that  this 
White  Elephant  has  been  always  wounding  and  killing  men 
up  and  down  Europe  these  twenty  years.  Mons.  Lott  knew 
this  by  universal  report,  and  by  being  an  eye-witness  of  more 
than  one  man's  destruction."  Here  there  was  a  sensation,  I 
can  tell  you.  "  He  has,  therefore,  forfeited  all  claims  to 
consideration."  Than  he  thundered  out:  "Let  no  man 
claim  to  be  wiser  than  Holy  Writ ;  there  we  are  told  that  a 
lie  is  a  crime  of  the  very  deepest  dye,  and  here  we  see  how 
for  years  falsehood  has  been  murder."  Then  I  mind  he 
took  just  the  opposite  line  to  my  defender.  Says  he  :  "  If 
I  hesitate  for  a  moment,  it  is  not  for  the  man's  sake,  but  for 
the  brute's  ;  but  I  do  not  hesitate.  I  could  wish  so  majestic 
a  creature  might  be  spared  for  our  instruction,"  says  he,  "that 
so  wonderful  a  specimen  of  the  Creator's  skill  might  still 


84  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

walk  the  earth  ;  but  reason,  and  justice,  and  humanity  say 
'  No.'  There  is  an  animal  far  smaller,  yet  ten  times  more 
important,  for  he  has  a  soul,  and  this,  the  king  of  all  the 
animals,  is  not  safe  while  she  lives  ;  therefore  she  ought  to 
die.  Weaker  far  than  her  in  his  individual  strength,  he  is  a 
thousand  times  stronger  by  combination  and  science,  there- 
fore she  will  die." 

When  this  infernal  chatterbox  shut  up  my  heart  sunk  into 
my  shoes.  He  was  a  prig,  but  an  eloquent  one,  and  walked  into 
Djek  and  me  till  we  were  not  worth  an  hour's  purchase. 

For  all  that,  the  council  did  not  come  to  a  decision  on  the 
spot,  and  I  believe  that  if  Djek  had  but  been  content  to  kill 
the  laity  as  heretofore,  we  should  have  scraped  through  with 
a  fine  ;  but  the  fool  must  go  and  tear  black  cloth,  and  dig 
her  own  grave. 

Two  days  after  the  trial,  out  came  the  sentence, — Death. 

With  that  modesty  and  good  feeling  which  belongs  to 
most  foreign  governments,  they  directed  me  to  execute  their 
sentence. 

My  answer  came  in  English.  "  I'll  see  you  d — d,  and 
doubled  d — d  first,  and  then  I  won't." 

Meantime  Huguet  was  persecuting  poor  heart-sick  me 
for  the  remainder  of  her  purchase-money,  and,  what  with  the 
delay,  the  expense,  and  the  anxiety,  I  was  so  down  and  so  at 
the  end  of  my  wits  and  my  patience,  that  her  sentence  fell 
on  me  like  a  blow  on  a  chap  that  is  benumbed, — produced 
less  effect  upon  me  at  the  time  than  it  does  when  I  think  of  it 
now. 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  85 

Well, — curse  them  ! — one  fine  morning  they  ran  a  cannon 
up  to  the  gate,  loaded  it  and  bade  me  call  the  elephant,  and 
bring  her  into  a  favorable  position  for  being  shot.  I  refused 
point-blank,  in  English,  as  before.  They  threatened  me  for 
my  contumacy.  I  answered  they  might  shoot  me  if  they 
liked,  but  I  would  not  be  the  one  to  destroy  my  own  liveli- 
hood. 

So  they  had  to  watch  their  opportunity. 

It  was  not  long  of  coming. 

She  began  to  walk  about,  and  presently  the  poor  fool 
marched  right  up  to  the  cannon's  mouth,  and  squinted  down 
it.  Then  she  turned,  and  at  last  crossed  right  before  it. 
The  gunner  took  the  opportunity,  applied  his  linstock,  and 
fired.  There  was  a  great  tongue  of  flame,  and  a  cloud  of 
smoke,  and  through  the  smoke  something  as  big  as  a  house 
was  seen  to  go  down  ;  the  very  earth  trembled  at  the  shock. 

The  smoke  cleared  in  a  moment,  and  there  lay  Djek. 
She  never  moved.  The  round  shot  went  clean  through  her 
body,  and  struck  the  opposite  wall  with  great  force.  It  was 
wonderful  and  sad  to  see  so  huge  a  creature  robbed  of  her 
days  in  a  moment  by  a  spark.  There  she  lay, — poor  Djek. 

In  one  moment  I  forgot  all  her  faults.  She  was  an  old 
companion  of  mine  in  many  a  wet  day  and  dreary  night. 
She  was  reputation  to  me,  and  a  clear  six  hundred  a  year  ; 
and  then  she  was  so  clever  !  We  shall  never  see  her  like 
again  ;  and  there  she  lay.  I  mourned  over  her,  right  or 
wrong,  and  have  never  been  the  same  man  since  that  shot 
was  fired. 


86  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

The  butchery  done,  I  was  informed  by  the  municipal  au- 
thorities that  the  carcass  was  considered,  upon  the  whole,  to 
be  my  property.  The  next  moment  I  had  two  hundred  ap- 
plications for  elephant  steaks  from  the  pinch-gut  natives, 
who,  I  believe,  knew  gravy  by  tradition  and  romances  that 
had  come  all  the  way  from  Paris.  Knives  and  scales  went 
to  work,  and,  with  the  tears  running  down  my  cheeks,  I  sold 
her  beef  at  four  sous  per  pound  for  about  £40  sterling. 

This  done,  all  my  occupation  was  gone.  Geneva  was  no 
place  for  me,  and  as  the  worthy  Huguet,  whose  life  I  had 
saved,  threatened  to  arrest  me,  I  determined  to  go  back  to 
England  and  handicraft.  Two  days  after  Djek's  death  I  was 
hanging  sorrowfully  over  the  bridge,  when  some  one  drew 
near  to  me  and  said,  in  a  low  voice,  Mons.  Lott.  I  had  no 
need  to  look  up.  I  knew  the  voice  ;  it  was  my  lost  sweet- 
heart. She  spoke  very  kindly,  blushed,  and  welcomed  me  to 
her  native  country.  She  did  more  ;  she  told  me  she  lived 
five  miles  from  Geneva,  and  invited  me  to  visit  her  mother. 
She  took  occasion  to  let  me  know  that  her  father  was  dead : 
"My  mother  refuses  me  nothing,"  she  added,  with  another 
blush.  This  was  all  like  a  dream  to  me.  The  next  day  I 
visited  her  and  her  mother,  and  was  cordially  received  ;  in 
short,  it  was  made  clear  to  me  that  my  misfortune  had  en- 
deared me  to  this  gem  of  a  girl  instead  of  repelling  her. 
An  uncle,  too,  had  died,  and  left  her  three  hundred 
pounds,  and  this  made  her  bolder  still ;  and  she  did  not  con- 
ceal her  regard  for  me.  She  told  me  she  had  seen  me  once 
in  Geneva  driving  two  showy  horses  in  a  carriage,  and  look- 
ing like  a  nobleman,  and  so  had  hesitated  to  claim  the  ac- 


THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT.  87 

quaintance  ;  but  hearing  of  the  elephant's  execution,  and 
guessing  that  I  could  no  longer  be  on  the  high-road  to  for- 
tune, she  had  obeyed  her  heart,  and  been  the  first  to  remind 
me  I  had  once  esteemed  her. 

In  short,  a  Pearl. 

I  made  her  a  very  bad  return  for  so  much  goodness.  I 
went  and  married  her.  We  then  compounded  with  Huguet 
for  three  thousand  francs,  and  sailed  for  England  to  begin 
the  world  again. 

I  am,  as  I  have  been  all  my  life,  sober,  watchful,  enterpris- 
ing, energetic  and  unlucky. 

In  early  life  I  played  for  a  great  stake, — affluence. 

I  think  I  may  say  I  displayed,  in  the  service  of  Djek,  some 
of  those  qualities  by  which,  unless  books  are  false,  men  have 
won  campaigns  and  battles,  and  reaped  fortunes  and  reputa- 
tions :  result  in  my  case,  a  cannon-shot  fired  in  a  dirty  little 
village,  calling  itself  a  city,  in  a  country  that  Yorkshire  could 
eat  up  and  spit  out  again,  after  all  the  great  kingdoms  and 
repubs.  had  admired  her  and  forgiven  her  her  one  defect — 
a  tongue  of  fire — a  puff  of  smoke — and  all  the  perils,  labor, 
courage  and  perseverance  of  eleven  years  blown  aWay  like 
dust  to  the  four  winds  of  Heaven. 

I  am  now  playing  for  a  smaller  stake ;  but  I  am  now,  as 
usual,  playing  my  very  best.  I  am  bending  all  my  exper- 
ience of  work  and  trade,  all  my  sobriety,  activity,  energy  and 
care,  all  my  cunning  of  eye  and  hand,  to  one  end, — not  to 
die  in  the  workhouse. 


88  THE  WHITE  ELEPHANT. 

Ladies  and  gentlemen,  the  workman  has  said  his  say,  and 
I  hope  the  company  have  been  amused. 


THE   END. 


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